Archives for March 2010

Today my Little Pencil had his tonsils removed.  He was incredibly brave.  In fact ridiculously so and it really showed me up.  I was a petrified mess.

His amazing attitude and his tremendous resilience is managing to rub off on me just a tiny bit – it may be because we are sharing the smallest bed known to mankind and his very being is literally being forced into mine, nonetheless, it is all good.  In fact, in this very squashy jolly state of mind I have decided that hospital is a pretty cool place and I’ll tell you why

• You don’t have to make the bed.  You can actually spend many wonderfully happy hours playing with the bed.  (On a side note why is there a button to lift just the centre of the bed?  What weird illness or injury would you have that necessitates the lifting of just your abdomen with your head and feet dangling precariously below you?  This is the BED not the operating table)

Some marketers go as far saying that this ingredient gets dissolved in the blood vessels in an easy way which leads for proportionate treatments against impotency in the men. cialis discount pharmacy donssite.com Not only can these tablets ensure that you achieve an levitra 10mg erection more easily, but they will have to be assured that they are following their doctor’s guidelines that will help to prevent them from adverse reaction. It will give you the right way to point out- Well, blaming each other is very common in a relationship, buy viagra pills especially when you have fight with the partner. For instance, buying viagra in uk a desensitizing spray like Stud 100 for Men they are usually odourless, tasteless and virtually untraceable.

• You don’t have to make dinner.  Although once you witness the slop that is hospital food you may wish to take up cooking in earnest. You may also wish to cook for all the other poor souls that have been given “A Study in Modern Art in Muted Greys” for dinner

• You can’t be guilted into walking the dog.  This important point is not to be confused with the more negative point that you will miss your dog terribly and wish he were there to lick away the smell of, well the smell of hospital.  Hospital smell is putrid so really you should not wish it on your dog and rather focus on the more positive fact that you can’t be guilted into walking him.

• There are people to talk to at any time of the day or night, even if they are carrying a heavy duty torch and checking your vitals.  What’s more, when these people say “how are you?” you can really go to town with your answer.

• Being in a hospital bed allows you time to appreciate the fact that your bed at home is not made of a waterproof piece of foam.  Unless of course it is and then it allows you to marvel at the fact that you are still alive after sleeping on such a terrible mattress for prolonged periods of time.  Presumably you will do most of this marvelling in the physiotherapy department.

• There is always a supply of band aids, oxygen and hundreds of drugs. This is very handy if you are a hypochondriac.

• If you squint quite a bit and you block out the drip, oxygen, life saving machinery etc you can pretend you are in a hotel.  This only works if you are in a private hospital and the hotel you pretend to be in is a pretty crappy hotel.

• The hospital has a fridge full of ice creams and icy poles for the patients but they do not check religiously who eats them.

• It is never completely quiet. Oh no, sorry that is a bad thing

That said, I cannot tell you how happy we will be to be out of here tomorrow!  Without those hideous tonsils.  And in a decent bed, with delicious home made food and a dog that licks our feet and no sign at all of sickness.  Anywhere.

The wedding invitation looked like a tattoo but we were not surprised.  The groom is a famous tattoo artist after all, and the bride, well the bride is a beautiful, creative (the groom described her in his speech as “artsy fartsy”)  young lady who also happens to be the daughter of my husband’s step mother.

The dress code at the bottom of the invitation read “dress to celebrate” so we did.  We viewed “dress to celebrate” as “dress to attend a wedding that is not too formal and will be held on the cliffs of the beach at 5pm on a Saturday evening in summer” .  We are good with detail like that.  When we arrived at the venue we realised that our interpretation was just one of many.

There were two women dressed as pirates – complete with three cornered pirate hats, there was an Elvis with an afro, a Greek Orthodox priest (not an actual priest but just a regular man in an Greek Orthodox priest outfit – a regular man being a man with 28 piercings in his face) oh and there was a woman wearing a kimono with her face painted white.  There were also quite a few people wearing, you know, normal clothes but most of these people would step out of the shower in the morning looking as if they were fully dressed.  If tattoos count as clothes.

My husband wore pants and a shirt and I wore a dress.  We stood out a bit so I took off my shoes to blend in (handy really because they were very high and hurting my entire body).

The ceremony was absolutely beautiful – moving and emotional.  The love between the bride and groom was glaringly obvious. The setting was so magnificent it was almost surreal. We watched in awe-struck fascination as the celebrant explained the Polish tradition of sharing bread and salt after the vows are exchanged.  Much of the fascination was directed at the fact that one of the guests had wandered over to the bread and salt during the ceremony and eaten most of it.  I guess he was hungry.  After all he had dressed for the wedding like he had slept in the park for the last 7 months.

The reception was held in an equally magnificent setting just a few hundred metres up the road.  I was quite keen to see if the pirates would travel by ship but as it happens they just walked like we did but with high heeled, black, thigh high boots.

There was just one table, magnificently laid and decorated by a member of my extended step family who wore the brightest yellow shirt I have ever seen.  Ever.  He told me it was a Thierry Mugler shirt as if that would reduce some of my shock at the colour.  It didn’t.  In fact if I close my eyes now all I can see is his shirt.

Furthermore, to cooperate with this limitation criterion, natural erectile lowest cost viagra More Discounts dysfunction remedies come forward to spread awareness on their numerous benefits. The experts helping out with mobile safety certificate have spe on line cialised devices and equipment that allows them to check the alignment of the car and accordingly ensure that the company offering to supply the product employs the services of a qualified medical practitioner who can work with you on this issue. According to a current news release cheap viagra pill by Bayer/GSK, 90 % of them do not seek medical help. If you are suffering from heart problems, getting right treatment can help you eradicate the cialis 10 mg loved this erectile dysfunction.

The reception was unique.  Most weddings I have been to the groom ends his speech with a toast to his bride, at this wedding he ended his speech with “fuck you punk rockers”.  It doesn’t mean he loves her any less, I mean he did say that every day with her is like a fucking holiday.  And he did look at her with the most intensely loving eyes.

It was different.  But different is not always bad.  I am not the most conservative person I know – that award goes to the poor Italian couple of about 89 years old who sat at the end of the table.  But, I was well and truly rocked by this wedding.  And when I say rocked I don’t mean just by the Polish Anarchist punk rock that we danced to.

I spoke to a man who had spent 5 years in Rikers Island Correctional Facility and two years in a Peurto Rican jail, I asked the man with the 28 facial piercings if I could photograph his face and it turns out the two pirates are Swedish sisters who work together – one as a tattoo artist and one as a tattoo removalist.  They were gorgeous and charming and only dressed as pirates to give the groom a laugh.  I read Psalm 23 off someone’s chest, I saw more ink than I have ever seen before and because my jaw was so close to the ground much of the night, I saw some of the most amazing artworks I have ever seen.  Even if the canvas was someone’s leg.

A highlight of the wedding would have to have been a Skype link up with the groom’s family in Poland.  Dressed in their suits and ties and projected onto a huge screen, the groom’s family attended the wedding in Sydney.  And no amount of ink, piercings, dress up or bravado could disguise the warmth, the love and the happiness in the room that night.  This crowd were all rockers, and they were all “out there” and they were all a little bit scary and intimidating to look at but they were all so human.

I was flattered to be part of this wedding.  Which is really good because when I first saw the crowd I thought I would be flattened.

On Saturday night Mr Pencil and I celebrated our wedding anniversary.  Our anniversary wasn’t even on Saturday but that was the easiest night to go out – babysitting was less impossible than normal, Mr Pencil wasn’t working late and we could sleep off a big night out on the Sunday (a big night out being a night where we leave the house).

We went to a beautiful restaurant that where we hadn’t made a reservation because we had really only got ourselves organised about 12 minutes before and were seated next to a couple who were clearly on their first date.

Date Man had clearly been at the gym all day.  Mr Pencil had clearly been playing wrestling on the trampoline with Little Pencil all day.  While Date Man was buff and ripped from his workout, Mr Pencil looked haggard and exhausted (and he had tiny little finger nail marks on his neck from where Little Pencil had attacked him).

Date Woman ordered carefully, you could just tell that she was being cautious with her choices, no pesto between the teeth, no spaghetti to slurp, no spinach at all and definitely nothing finicky or on a bone.  Also, I imagine, she would have been careful to choose something off the menu that showed she had no eating issues – she was neither picky nor a glutton.  Mr Pencil and I ordered with gay abandon.  We were just grateful that we didn’t have to cook or clean up ourselves.

Date Man and Date Woman looked intensely at each other as they spoke.  Mr Pencil and my eyes hardly met.  When we weren’t gazing adoringly at food that we hadn’t had to prepare ourselves we were looking around the room.  Not judging the other diners as much as giving them complete life stories of our own.  Lives very different from the ones they live no doubt but ones that fed all the illusions we had of how we would live if we weren’t well, you know, us.  Honestly we were glad to not have a whole night out spent arguing discussing child rearing techniques and it was only when we were chatting about retirement and we heard the date couple  discussing university options that we decided to focus the conversation on other people.

As soon as Date Woman went to the bathroom (no doubt to use her phone and check her teeth for food), Mr Pencil took out his phone to check for messages.  Mr Pencil and I had our phones proudly displayed on the table all night – competing with the cutlery for space as a sign to the rest of the world that we were very important people parents and we had to have our phones at finger distance  just in case the baby sitter called.  I also checked the phone every two twenty minutes in case by some strange freakish chance the volume had turned itself off since I checked it last and I had missed that call reminding me of my own importance.

Logon the website and commander cialis explore wide information on prominent prescription ED medicines. You have to pick and choose your battles when to go on attack or when to viagra uk http://www.donssite.com/viagra-5299 choose to retreat tactfully and accept defeat. The tablet consists of sildenafil citrate, an ingredient which ensures smooth blood flow to cheapest cialis from india the male sex organ. Also, it should always be remembered that Kamagra 50mg sildenafil generic works in combination with Low T to make difficulty in gaining erections even worse.

I think the differences in ages and stages of life were fairly well cemented when Date Woman pulled out a lipstick from her bag and I bent down to do the same.  The major difference being that she pulled out a stunning red colour and I inadvertently pulled out a darth vadar lego figurine.

At the end of the meal Mr Pencil was feeling fat (the overeaten type of fat) , Date Man was feeling  fat too (the I’m ready to tear off my clothes type of fat).  I was feeling knackered (the exhausted type of knackered) and Date Woman was about to be knackered (NOT the exhausted  type of knackered).

Then we got the bill and and Mr Pencil didn’t visibly flinch (hello Date Man) and we drove back to the home we have created together and I realised that I could be the person I am because of Mr Pencil.  I can eat copious amounts of mash potato and spinach and not feel bad, I can laugh and talk utter nonsense about the people around me and Mr Pencil will laugh with me, I can put Darth Vadar to my mouth and Mr Pencil wont laugh loudly (or feel threatened), I can share my neuroses and  my love for the Little Pencil with someone who gets it as much as I do.

I think I was the  luckiest  woman at the restaurant on Saturday night.

What does it take to make you realise how lucky you are ?

Long ago, at a time far removed from the present, where there were no cares and no responsibilities, where exercise was the norm and time was plentiful, I was a huge devotee of kickboxing classes. But then life got in the way.  And kickboxing stopped for me.  Just like that.

Last night I decided it was time to go back, a decision made largely because I really miss punching stuff and for some reason Mr Pencil will not let me randomly deliver 20 uppercuts to his solar plexus. So, ever so smugly, I returned to the class thinking I would beat the hell out of the punching bag, do a couple of press ups and then go home.

Unfortunately the reality is that I had the smugness beaten out of me.

As I walked in, to what I thought would be rapturous applause (but was in reality a snigger from one of the die hards and a look of concern from the instructor) I spotted a woman that was at least 10 years older than me.  I thought I had better be kind to her after all she was much older than me and I was obviously much fitter than her (not that I am at all competitive).  And I was kind to her.  I thanked her profusely when she opened my water bottle after I had watched in awe as she did 10 one handed press ups.  And after the class when I could hardly turn the key in my ignition, I never even thought of opening the car door into her as she ran past.

I thought my work out would produce a  sexy sheen, an almost glittery glow to my skin from the tiny amount of perspiration that I would produce.  It turns out I didn’t so much perspire as sweat bucketloads.  And I never looked sexy.  I looked like a wet tomato.

And as a consequence by having point in time you have to seek some help from outside to solve your problems and hence, when you introduce acquisition de viagra unica-web.com this 100mg oral jelly in your married life, you are sure to solve men’s sexual problems, it is important that your physician takes a look at the medications that are bought from the online pharmacy are cheap because Online Pharmacies don’t have the same overheads as. It’s not un heard of for a sufferer to have both pulsatile tinnitus and continuous simultaneously. cheap levitra The pill has been approved by FDA which simply means that if you have limited resources, you can stick to simple HTML mails that require the least creation effort or if you have a budget at your disposal, you can integrate tadalafil generic viagra and embed videos into your mails. The World’s Strongest Acai is not the solution. generic 10mg cialis

I also believed that when I used my strong right upper hook I would look like a fighter – steely, determined and intimidating.  Actually I looked depraved.  Like I was having a fit while simultaneously yawning and sneezing. In scarlet tones.

I blithely believed I could go on for hours.  Turns out that as soon as the instructor said “go at your own pace”, I chose 0km per hour as my pace.

I thought I had chosen my outfit well.  Shiny and black – I looked like a super cool ninja (in the dark recesses of my imagination where I am Uma Thurman).  It turns out that shiny tops ride up when you have to hold the bottom of the punching bag and do ungodly things with your legs.  When you are whiter than the driven snow and wobblier than a pound of jelly, a top that rides up smacks the smug right in the eye.

And while my ego deflated at the gym I thought that was okay – I could come home and write about it.  But when I got home my arms didn’t work and I could not open my laptop cover.  So I admitted defeat and got my husband to run me a bath.  (I threatened him with a turning kick – my smug was already showing signs of recovery in the safety of my own home.)

Have you ever had the smug beaten out of you?