Archives for September 2010

It’s been a long time between drinks.  Did someone say drinks? I need one

Last night was parent teacher interview at Little Pencil’s school.

There is nothing quite like having to appear in front of your child’s teacher in a tiny, uncomfortable  blue gray chair.  It is sort of like being summoned to the principal for a performance appraisal.  But worse – because it is not the principal, it’s your child’s teacher.  The person  who gets to spend all day with your child.  The same person  who hears all the things about your life that you try to pretend don’t happen, the same person  who sees what you pack for school lunch and who sees how inadequate you are at maths (this may be something that is exclusive to me).

So last night I sat before the women that teach my children.  I was nervous.  I had a tension headache and my shoulders felt like they were glued to my ears.  My tension was not around my son.  I know that he is doing beautifully at school, I know that he has friends, he is happy and academically he is blitzing it.

I was nervous because I always feel like the teachers are going to be judging me as a parent.  Deep in my heart I hope that this is not true, I even acknowledge that I may be neurotic.  But still there is a whole big part of me that is not deep in my heart that thinks that maybe, because the teachers spend so much time with my child they may think they know things about him that I don’t know.  Or worse, they may think I am a crap mother (you can substitute the word crap with over indulgent, neurotic, irritating, nagging, or even hopeless at math)

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I was a teacher before I was a mother.  I knew a lot about the children I taught – I just did not know them from the perspective of a parent.  I fear thought that I thought I knew (admittedly I was 22 years old when I was teaching so I thought I knew everything anyway).

Turns out all my neurosis was wasted – the teachers at Little Pencil’s school did not critique my parenting skills.  Hell, they hardly even spoke about me even when I tried to take the conversation there. They did say the most beautiful things about my magnificent child though.

I wish I could go back to being the teacher of the children I taught just for a minute – just to be the kind of teacher that Little Pencil’s teachers were last night.  They made me feel proud of my son and his achievements.  They made me feel like bursting with happiness when they told me of my son’s happiness and delight at learning and they made me feel delighted that I have chosen the school that I have for my Little Pencil.

They did not even mention the fact that I all too often pack a higher treat to food ratio than is acceptable for lunch and they did not once laugh at my inability to do math.