Archives for March 2011

The day I was diagnosed by Wikipedia

There is a whooping cough epidemic sweeping across Little Pencil’s school. 5 children in his class have had it and who knows how many cases there are in the school. Well actually I do because the school are very diligent and report every case to the patents

In fact they are so diligent that the nurse has briefed them on how to sneeze (into their elbows) when to wash their hands (after meals and on returning to class) .  They are so diligent that they have even briefed the children on signs and symptoms to look out for.

It was after this briefing that Little Pencil came home and had serious words with me.  “Mom” he said. “ You have a cold.”

I was nonplussed. I do have a cold. You don’t have to be too smart to tell that. My bright red nose and the stream of tissues in my wake puts paid to that. “You need to have a throat swab” he continued “a cold is one of the first symptoms of whooping cough”

He was very serious and quote concerned. He has learned well. And because I am a neurotic hypochondriac who only wants to make her son happy I decided to go to the doctor.

My regular doctor is away and my other regular doctor (see I told you I am a hypochondriac) works too far away for me to be bothered travelling to when I am not feeling great.  So, I trotted off to the local medical centre.

Dr Wiki (as I like to refer to her) sat me down and asked me why I was there.

I explained about the whooping cough at school and my symptoms.  She asked me if the school had given the children a brochure.  They had in fact emailed one to us and  I told her so thinking I would get extra health points for having a diligent centre of education for my son.  “Do you have it with you? “ she asked.  I told her that I didn’t but they were the same as the ones I had seen in the waiting room.  I was beginning to wonder why on earth she needed to know which brochure we received when she said “never mind” and started typing on her computer.

I looked over expecting to see something like www.medicaldoctorsonly.com appear on the screen.  No such luck.  She logged onto Wikipedia.  Yes, my doctor logged onto Wikipedia and started to read aloud how you diagnose for whooping cough.
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I almost ran away.  Except I couldn’t because I would have bumped into her.  She was leaving the room to go and check WITH THE RECEPTIONIST that the facts on Wikipedia were correct.  Presumably the receptionist has her own version of Google Doctor running out the front.

Wikipedia, the receptionist and I agreed that she should do a throat swab (the school had told me this) and after convincing her she could do it through my mouth and not the back of my nose we were almost done.

“Do you still have your tonsils?” she asked after peering down my  throat with a high beam torch.  “Um, take a guess” I countered.  She thought that perhaps I may have tonsillitis but I should wait for the results of the throat swab.

I do not have tonsils.

You don’t have to be a hypochondriac to understand  why I have a regular doctor whom I can trust.  I’ll get the results of the swab from him.

P.S I don’t have a cough

 

 

Being grateful is better than being… anything else

It is fairly well documented that I am slightly neurotic (using slightly to mean over the top) and well, I am a little bit of a scaredy cat.  I have always been afraid of huge weather phenomena and  if I must admit it, end of the world prophecies.

Sufficeth it to say I have been a bit of a wreck this week.  Coping okay on the outside (although my husband may not agree with this) but inside feeling frightened, scared and particularly bleak.

I heard a woman on the radio speaking about how these continuing disasters (the earthquakes, tsunamis, floods and cyclones for the reader that is living under a rock) affect the population and how important it is for those of us that are living out of the affected areas to try and return to “normal activities” rather than getting stuck in the disaster.

I realize how important that is – especially for my Little Pencil and to some extent all the people around me who are having to not only put up with my constant jumpiness but deal with the very maudlin air around me.

I spoke to my sister on the phone today and I heard something in the background that sounded distinctly like a siren.  I panicked and yelled down the phone ‘what’s that noise, what’s happening, are you okay?’ .  ‘Um yes, Lana’ she replied, ‘that “siren” is the national anthem playing in the background on TV’.  Allright then I may not have returned to normal activities completely but I am giving it my best shot.

So to get me back on track I have decided I need to focus on all the good things in my life – all  the things that I am incredibly grateful for

  • My husband – he is supportive, compassionate and caring beyond what is reasonable expected of a human
  • My son – he is just himself and in that he is perfect
  • My sister who always gives me balance and unconditional support

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Okay now that I have finished sounding like an Oscar’s acceptance speech , I would also like to thank the rest of my family and my friends (oops can’t stop the Oscar’s speech now, I totally get why they carry on for so long)

But seriously I am grateful for the fact that

  • I have the most awesome job and am surrounded by smart and amazing people both physically and online  and I am way too busy to sink into despair about  the fact that the world is falling apart
  • I don’t live in Japan
  • I don’t live in Libya (or in fact any place where I hear news of air strikes and heavy military bombardment in my neighbourhood)
  • I can go to sleep at night in a safe, comfortable and peaceful home
  • I have perspective (even if it’s only a tiny bit),  I can see what is happening to others and instead of feeling terrible for myself I can rejoice in how lucky I am and donate as generously as I can to others that are not even one millionth as lucky as I am.
  • I can hope for a better future for all of humanity

I really am truly grateful.  And that is what I am going to focus on.

 

The most annoying habit on earth

It started off so innocently as it so often does. Unfortunately it hasn’t ended on the same high note (so to speak).

Little Pencil  has learned to whistle.

I still can’t whistle properly so when my son started experimenting with sucking air through his tongue with dogged concentration I was pretty confident that it would takes ages before he mastered the whole control of air thing and actually emitted a sound.

Maybe it’s because he practised 22 hours a day, maybe it’s because he concentrated harder than is strictly normal for a person learning to whistle or maybe it is because he spent hours gazing at other whistlers and mimicking their facial movements but it didn’t take him long to get the sound.

Now when I say he can whistle I don’t mean he can play a melodious tune.  Oh no that would be bearable.  What he can do is make a piercing hideous sound that is shrill, sharp and painful.  And he can make it often.

He has taken to whistling, well ALL THE TIME.

He whistles in the car on the way to school, he whistles in the bath, he whistles while he is playing on the computer.  He whistles when he breathes for God’s sake.  While he is watching TV, while he is meant to be sleeping, while he is meant to be eating and generally whenever he feels like annoying me it.
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He has made worse noises (he learns the clarinet after all) and he has had worse habits (he bit his nails for about three months) but somehow this one is the one that seems set to destroy me.

I am trying so hard to understand that whistling is a huge milestone for a little boy (at least that is what my husband tells me) and that I should just try and ignore it and let him whistle away but Lord I hate the sound of that whistle.   I don’t want to constantly tell him to stop because some part of me thinks that telling him to stop whistling is like telling him to stop being carefree and happy and so I spend a lot of time trying to run away from him.

When he is sitting and doing his homework and whistling I try to secretly escape to my room.  When I hear the whistle getting louder I run to the kitchen.  When he comes into the kitchen whistling  I sneak out the door.  He invariably catches up with me when I am about to huddle under the trampoline with earplugs in.

And without fail he says to me “hey mom, listen to this – I can whistle”.

Sensitive to my hatred of his whistling? Er not quite. Maybe I am being too subtle …

Do your kids have a habit that annoys you? Something that causes you to want to run outside and hide under the trampoline?