Child at the centre and husband at the side

son in the centre

This weekend my husband and I had Saturday and Sunday nights to ourselves, in fact we’ve had a lot of time without our son recently. Now that he is a teen with the social skills of a talk show host and a social calendar to match, he seems to be out more than he is in. And when he’s in he’s more than likely to be found swamped by friends.

It takes a bit of getting used to, not always factoring him into our plans when he has plans of his own because, I will be the first to admit, Little Pencil has been, and continues to be the centre of our lives. He was that way from the minute he was born and will no doubt be in the same position the minute we take our last breaths. I make no apologies for that because it’s exactly the way we wanted it, it’s been our choice to place him there and it’s worked remarkably well – he is an amazingly centred and confident teenager and we are a very happily married couple.

We were married for ten years before Little Pencil was born so we are not strangers to each other in any shape or form. In fact, sometimes I think we’ve been together so long that certain er, familiarities have crept into the relationship.

  • When I wear a dress I usually put fake tan on my legs but it stops at around mid thigh because I couldn’t be bothered to finish the job and I know the only person seeing my upper thigh will be Mr Pencil
  • Sometimes we finish each others sentences although sometimes I just correct his (that would have been his line if he was writing this)
  • He knows what I want to eat off a menu before I do
  • I feel like I went to school with him I’ve heard his stories of growing up so many times. Sometimes I get confused between his memories and my own
  • I only shave my legs if we are going out somewhere smart or to the beach. He gets to see the forests that occur at other times
  • We laugh at the same things. Mostly each other
  • Whenever I wear boots I know he’s going to say “what time are the races?” so I greet him with “10am”. He always knows what I mean and I never actually look like I am going to the races
  • Before we go to sleep at night he will pass me my nasal spray so that I don’t snore. Its possibly the most romantic gesture ever because it ensures we both get enough sleep
  • I walk around the house in the most comfortable (read hideous) clothes you’ve ever seen and even though I often look like a whale in mourning he never shows that he’s even noticed
  • Neither of us can sleep if the dog is not on the bed
  • I can say absolutely anything to Mr Pencil and he’ll understand it. In fact I can say nothing at all to him and he still understands me.

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Don’t get me wrong, we’re not Mr and Mrs Sunshine and Rainbows, we have our issues like any other couple. We argue and we fight and there are seconds that I believe I don’t really like him very much at all. But they pass quickly.

The familiarities are just part of what what makes our relationship work, the fact that we feel the same way about parenting our son helps a lot but the things that really keep our little family together more than any other is respect for each other and a lot of of laughter from all of us, except the dog, the dog isn’t very funny (he’s also not very respectful).

While our son will always be the centre of our lives I feel extremely blessed that my husband is by my side.

Comments

  1. A beautiful post…and I am married to one of those people too. They know us as we know them. Laughing is the key. At ourselves and with each other. 44 years for us this year…O.M. Geeee. Love D

  2. I was nodding my head all the way through this… Rhonnifer and I celebrate our 21st anniversary (of not being married) on Friday, and sometimes I think we’re just one person too…

    So glad you and your hubby have the same kind of relationship that we do! 🙂

  3. This is beautiful, Lana, and reminds me so much of my own little family. Steve and I were together for 10 years too, before the little ones joined our world – and it was such a great time that made us know exactly how we wanted this next stage to be. Now, the four of us do everything together. I think that stage you’re at with E will be very weird here one day too!

    • In the most non stalkerish way possible I was looking at photos that you posted on Facebook of your beautiful daughters. I cannot believe how big they are getting. And they clearly look so happy – it’s not surprising that their parents are in such a good place xxxx

  4. Lovely Lans. Just lovely. Nodded my way through this whole post xx

  5. That post is so familiar to us. Into 44th year of wedded ups and downs that produced 3 children and 4 foster children. Truly enjoying “our” time even though the babies (32 & 34) still live at home.xx

  6. We just passed our 10th anniversary last week. No arguments from me with anything you say! Although I don’t bother with fake tan. I work extremely hard to maintain a ghostly white pallor.

    • That made me laugh out loud. But I think I would be arrested for disturbing the peace if I didn’t try shield the world from the bright white light that shines off my natural skin colour 🙂

  7. I love my buddy. He’s the best person I could ever go through life with. We were together five years before we had kids, and now that the youngest is out of the baby phase, sleeping and no longer breastfeeding, I feel like I see my poor dear husband’s head above the din a whole lot more. I’m excited to spend more time with him, he’s completely irreplaceable and I’ve missed him a bit 🙂

  8. Amandarose says

    After reading that I like you more then I did already. That was lovely to read!

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