The most of me you will ever see

It’s my birthday today! Yeehah! I have survived 47 years. That’s a lot of surviving.

In honour of the fact that I have made it this far and because I love writing lists here is a list of 47 thoughts on my 47th birthday

  1. I am really glad I married my husband
  2. I did something right in raising my child. He is a magnificent person
  3. I really feel quite sanctimonious giving up sugar
  4. I would kill for a slice of birthday cake with icing sugar made with icing sugar and butter and the white of an egg (my favourite icing recipe)
  5. I am half way through my natural life. Maybe past half way – depending on how I handle the next however many years
  6. I am 47 and still too scared to make phone calls
  7. Coming up with 47 things is hard
  8. Sometimes when I burn toast I want to cry at the lost toast opportunity
  9. I am nearly comfortable with admitting that I haven’t read almost all of the classics
  10. If I had one wish it would be to end cruelty to animals
  11. Some people say that I love my dog too much, they are acutely unaware of how much I REALLY love him
  12. Sometimes I hate read. I think it’s my weakest character trait
  13. I often think I would like to live in my bed
  14. If I could do anything at all with my time I would lie in my bed with my three boys – husband, son, and dog and just be
  15. I am still scared of taking things back to the shops for a return
  16. If I don’t write things on a list I don’t feel compelled to do them
  17. I often eat in secret
  18. I often feel shame about my past
  19. I have been for more therapy then most people and I am not sure that it has really helped
  20. My life has changed many many MANY times over and I still feel like there are many incarnations of me to come
  21. I would rather be a stay-at-home mum with a happy child than have any career on earth
  22. My son’s happiness is paramount to me and I don’t really get people who don’t get that
  23. I could not get through a day without my husband
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  25. I still identify as a feminist
  26. The refugee crisis in Syria (and all around the world) keeps me up at night
  27. I get easily scared of conflict
  28. I used to be so scared that the world would end that some days I could not face the world at all
  29. Maybe therapy has worked
  30. I don’t talk to my friends enough because I hate the phone and I love my bed but I am truly grateful for the amazing people in my life
  31. My relationship with my mother has been hideously fraught. We are both working hard to change this legacy
  32. I don’t speak to my father often enough not because I don’t want to but because we live in different countries and I am a hideous communicator
  33. Living in a different country to your loved ones is very hard
  34. For someone who writes a blog and lives on Facebook I am very bad at sharing parts of myself
  35. My husband makes me laugh more than any other person on earth. Although my friend Kerri puts up a big fight
  36. I feel safest when all my people (husband, son and dog) are at home with me
  37. I don’t express to my sisters often enough just how important they are to me. I hope that they get to 36 of this list and realise it’s true
  38. I am going to Hawaii in September and I already dread saying goodbye to my dog
  39. I am going to Hawaii in September and I am already drawing up a shopping list
  40. I am a socialist at heart living a capitalist life and have and want too many things
  41. I still slip and slide in the bath when I have let the water out
  42. At heart I am about 6 years old
  43. I worry all the time
  44. I often skip news stories that I can’t handle and I think that’s hideous and cowardly because those are other people’s lives I am basically diminishing but I still do it
  45. I don’t like stories or movies with animals, action, violence, deceit or kids in them
  46. I don’t see a lot of movies
  47. I am incredibly grateful to social media
  48. I can’t believe you read 47 things about me

Tell me some things about yourself.

Comments

  1. Happiest of birthdays to you, Lana!!

    And snap! It was my birthday during the week, fellow gemini! We have more in common than just our star sign. I can relate to LOTS of these!

    I am a worrier and chronic over thinker 🙂

  2. Happy Birthday, Lana. Many of these points (especially those related to worrying, anxiety, family, poor communication, etc) are me too. It’s exhausting.
    I am so envious of your trip to Hawaii. I went there with my parents and brother in 1977 (I was 12) and it was the best holiday ever. The ‘Americanness’ was such a novelty back then, we were upgraded to a penthouse suite for the entire 2 weeks (because the hotel was over-booked) and every single little thing was just great. I would love to take my kids there.
    I hope you enjoy your day.

    • Thanks Gael – here is hoping our hotel is also overbooked 😉 (except that of course I will now worry about that) xxx

  3. Denyse Whelan says

    Happy Birthday Lana..and that’s a pretty interesting list! I wish I knew how to ‘grown up’ better, and at 65 I am ashamed to say it’s held me back a few times.’ Denyse x

  4. When I turn 45 (shortly), I will blog a list of 45 hunks.

  5. Reckon Red says

    Fascinating. I find number 30 the most striking. A) that it was a fraught and you both know it and acknowledge it, b) that you both haven’t given up and c) are still working on it. I don’t have the emotional maturity to admit to my own fraught relationship with my mother. We just pretend everything is fine now I’m 45.

  6. I knew EVERY SINGLE THING except for number 40. I DO THAT TOOOOOOOOO!!

    As for 34., well…. I suppose if I’m perfectly honest I suspected as much, though I never really wanted to face the truth. Clearly I am going to have to up my game.

    I’ll do it. I CAN. I am the strongest person you know. *winks*

  7. Happy Birthday Lana!
    Like you, I love my bed and on days that I work from home I often take my lap-top back to bed with me and work from there.
    Hope you had a great day

  8. Happy belated birthday wishes (just back from o/s). Loved your list and could relate to most of them. Cheers from a jet lagged reader

  9. You gave up sugar?? When did this happen and how did I not know about it? Shocked of Blighty

    • It’s not pretty Ruth. *tries to remember the good old days when she was much more sunny and upbeat*

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