Inside Out: Girl power and the “forgotten” boys

I can’t help feeling a little sorry for Michelle Collins right now, even though I don’t know her and in fact, before today, had never heard of her. But that’s changing in a big way as I watch my Twitter feed furl out tweet after tweet

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Collins wrote a piece which appeared in The Courier Mail  lamenting the fact that there were no positive male role models in the newly released movie Inside Out. She explains

”… having sat through Disney’s Frozen (again another great animation) with its two strong female characters and negative depiction of men, I was hoping Inside Out would offer some inspiration for boys. After all, the handsome prince was a nasty schemer pretending to love princess Anna just so he could gain control of the throne and her other love interest, Kristoff, could at best described as a mountain nerd, who preferred the company of his reindeer to people. Academics, rightly labelled it a feminist fairytale.

So I was hoping Inside Out would include a positive male role model. Instead what we got was another strong female leads in Riley and the two emotions that are the heroines of the movie – joy and sadness. Disgust is also portrayed as a sassy teenage girl, which leaves the boys with anger and fear.”

There is a part of me that wants to tell her to take her sons (she is a mother of three boys) to almost ANY other movie on earth where, in most cases the boys are the heroes and the girls, well they are just there. I saw Entourage on the weekend and almost set the screen on fire with my angry feminist feelings, I don’t think there was more than one scene with a woman wearing clothes – all the stars were men and funnily enough, were clothed at all times.

But I digress.

While I don’t agree with Collins that there are too many movies with strong female characters, in fact I don’t think there are enough, I do understand the point she is trying to make about her sons when she says “Let’s continue to show girls that they are intelligent and able, but in doing so, let’s not forget that our sons need the same encouragement.”

Where previously I wrote about the marketing of toys to kids of different genders , I think the very same principles stand in any area of gender differentiation. Here is some of what I said before (which I am just going to copy and paste for ease of reading)

“I know that the fight for gender equality is right and fair. I fully support, and am part of, the feminist movement and believe that women should have equal pay, equal access to jobs, equal treatment across the board.

I don’t think little girls should be marketed to as inferior and of course I don’t think they should just be given pink dolls and princess outfits to play with when they are young. Nor only sparkly nail polish and make-up as they get older.

In much the same way I believe little boys shouldn’t be marketed to as if their only interests are building, driving and fighting. I don’t think we should market only blue toys, guns, swords, building equipment and cars to young boys. Nor only video games and sports equipment as they get older.

There is often an outcry when pink hairdryers are aimed at girls. Less of an outcry when toy trucks are marketed to boys.

Sometimes I worry that we are forgetting to tell our boys how important they are. There is this gender stereotype that we have always had to fight for our rights as women and so, as soon as a daughter is born into the family ,we tell her how far she will go in life, how she doesn’t have to rely on a man, how she should be proud of her vagina.

We should continue to reinforce that message. It’s a good one.

But we shouldn’t forget to reinforce strong messages for our boys. That THEY can be anything they want – they can be gentle and kind and emotional and display their feelings. That they don’t HAVE to like sport and violence and drinking games. That they can do anything girls can do.

And this message gets even more important as our boys enter their teens and grow into the socially accepted stereotypes that we normalise through the way teenage boys are displayed in the media.

I’m all for Girl Power, but as the mother of a son I’m also keen for him to know that I believe in equality of the sexes. As much as I want him to respect women, to be caring, compassionate, kind and generous, to be happy and fulfilled in all his decisions, I want him to be proud of being a boy, proud to grow into a man. Just as I am proud of the man that he is growing to be.

What do you think? Are we “forgetting” to embrace our boys as we fight for the rights of our girls?

Comments

  1. Great post Lana and very timely because no less than 10 minutes ago I had just finished reading Michelle’s column. I have a young toddler (not yet two) so I’m yet to experience the whole kids movie thing (I actually CANNOT wait until I can get back to the movies – albeit a kids one). Anyway, I could also appreciate Michelle’s point that she was trying to make and I agree with you – Girl Power is great but we need to continue to reinforce strong (and healthy) messages for our boys as well. We shouldn’t have to worry about keeping score as to how many movies boys versus girls “get the lead” but just an overall sense of equality should be what we are striving for.

  2. I’m a mum of two boys and not overly worried about this movie or Frozen. I have talked with both of my boys about women’s issues and respect for women since they were young (age appropriately of course). But not in isolation. I have also spent a lot of my time reinforcing respect for themselves, self worth and the fact that they can follow a passion whatever that may be. Now at almost 21 and 17 they have a strong sense of self and a respect for women and the issues we face. Yes movies and toys and the like can impact upon our kids but it is what we do at home that matters. The values we instil in the them from a young age are what form their sense of self and their ability to examine the world around them with a critical and thoughtful eye. Watching a female centric or ‘strong’ girl on film or TV is simply part of a wider varied narrative, and one that has been missing for a long time. As mine are older, Disney is replaced by Orphan Black and Mad Max and both are enjoyed without any sense that men are portrayed as less or that the program impacts upon who they are as a person, they are just good viewing. In the end if a child is viewing such movies in some sort of negative light it is an opportunity to discuss why they feel that way and perhaps review the messages we as parents are giving them.

  3. I think we should definitely support both. Feminism can’t happen without changes made for both genders (and anywhere in between). But I think we shouldn’t be outraged every time a movie comes out with characters of a particular gender. We can learn so much from both. Boys can learn that girls are strong and intelligent and a lot of other amazing things. They can also learn by being told it’s OK to identify with the feelings and struggles and triumphs of the characters who just happen to be female.
    I said in a Facebook comment that it’s not the movie that is the issue, more how we talk about it. How we talk to our kids about it. If we say, “Oh that movie has girls in it – it’s a girl movie”…then we’ve effed up, quite honestly.
    I am a mother of a gorgeous 3 year old boy and every day I hope I am teaching him that he isn’t forgotten – he doesn’t have to be confined to loving stereotypical ‘boy’ things and not talking about feelings. While I think it would be AMAZING and powerful to have a sequel to Inside Out that showed the feelings of a male character, I will settle quite happily with my son learning just as much from watching the movie about the female character Riley.

    • I think her issue was also that the “negative” emotions in Riley’s character were played by boys while the “positive” emotions were played by girls – but really they are all just characters to me irrespective of gender . I know that your 3-year old will grow up to be an awesome man because he has an awesome mum.

  4. While two movies in a row with strong female leads (and lesser roles for the boys) isn’t a big issue, I think there is a bit of a shying away in come area’s from trying to tackle role models for boys that will also further the kinds of social behaviors we’re trying to instill in boys. Leads for boys who are brave, sure, but who are also comfortable in themselves. ‘Normal’ (which was a big selling point for Anna, the fact that the hero of the movie was the one who didn’t have powers) boys, getting through stuff and all those great themes that we’re pushing for girls should be available for boys too. I think there probably IS a shortage of movies that are doing that kind of thing for boys. Boys are still getting a lot of rough and tumble, power oriented narratives.

    • 100% Cassandra. We are seeing stronger female leads and that’s a great thing but some more emotionally developed male roles would also be a bonus

  5. It always surprises me that this isn’t natural parenting to other people. My girls have had trucks, swords, mud and my son has had dolls, nail polish etc. They’ve just always been allowed to choose whatever it is that they want to express themselves with.

    I know I’ll get howled down for this but it’s why I don’t use them term feminism in my house I use equalism. I don’t like the instant polarisation that the word feminism invites (and this is often mistaken as me being anti-feminist which is silly). I want my children to be who they are, not trapped within the confines of gender roles but also to be allowed to figure out where they feel they fit in gender, sexuality and identity. Not just blue or pink, boy or girl there’s so much more to identity than that,

    • You wont be howled down by me – that’s for sure. My sister and I have this same conversation all the time – she’s a humanist not just a feminist. I agree with you 100%

  6. c

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