As I approach my 198th year I spend a lot more time wondering why people behave the way they do. I like to think I’m a late blooming quasi-anthropologist whereas, in reality, I’m just becoming more crotchety and intolerant.
I’m fairly chill with the “youth of the today”. I don’t have issue with people younger than me because I can remember what it felt like to want to rebel/be different/take drugs. Plus there is an inherent understanding that their experiences are vastly different to mine and so I cannot expect to get them 100% but I accept them.
Yesterday I realised my tolerance with my own generation is not quite so evolved, it is also matched by Cate Blanchett. Fairfax reports
“Academy Award winning actress Cate Blanchett finds social media and the selfie culture a joke.
In a new interview with Yahoo Beauty, the actress tells said she is confused about why “adults are participating in that s–t”.
While I am cool with the young people posting selfies, I’ve been given to having issue with people of my own generation who do the same thing. If you’re reading this and you are a selfie taker and you think I am taking aim at you, I’m not. I do not dislike you/judge you/want to take away your right to take your own photo – I just want to understand why you do it.
Stephanie Krikorian wrote in part on Scary Mommy “There’s something sad to me about the repeated need for validation through great pictures of oneself. We get it. You look great, in all 72 shots in the same bathing suit on the same boat. I completely get why young people post; that photo-of-everything culture is ingrained. They grew up with it, but we did not.”
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I’m not asking you about the selfies you take with your kids. My mind was completely made up in that regard way back in 2012 after I read the brilliant piece by Allison Tate who spearheaded a campaign to get mum in the picture with her post The Mom Stays in the Picture published on Huffington Post. She wrote in part
“Too much of a mama’s life goes undocumented and unseen. ..
Someday, I want them to see me, documented, sitting right there beside them: me, the woman who gave birth to them, whom they can thank for their ample thighs and their pretty hair; me, the woman who nursed them all for the first years of their lives, enduring porn star-sized boobs and leaking through her shirts for months on end; me, who ran around gathering snacks to be the week’s parent reader or planning the class Valentine’s Day party; me, who cried when I dropped them off at preschool, breathed in the smell of their post-bath hair when I read them bedtime stories, and defied speeding laws when I had to rush them to the pediatric ER in the middle of the night for fill-in-the-blank (ear infections, croup, rotavirus).”
Those photo include the kids. I don’t believe Alison is referring to photos of our faces with filters posted to the internet to get likes.
I am not judging people who take selfies, it does me no harm at all and I can’t imagine anyone could have a real issue with it, harmless as it is. I just want to know WHY?
If you are over 25 (and past the age of documenting your every move) can you explain what is the point of posting a selfie?
For me taking selfies is about autonomy over my body, my image in the world.
Selfies are not a new thing by any stretch of the imagination they’ve been around almost as long as photography (the first selfie was in 1839).
For a while I did a series of self portraits because I hate the notion that it’s a narcissistic activity.
http://www.lilawolff.com/blog/capturing-you
I don’t think it is narcissistic at all, I guess personally my low self esteem makes me wonder how other people do it – it’s more marvel than disdain to be honest.
Your images are stunning and not at all the kind of selfies I was thinking of. xx
I take the occasional selfie. I don’t post many (at least not what I’d consider many), but I like to see my face in photographic form. It’s oddly a way of teaching myself to accept how I look. I don’t do it for external validation. Just to express myself when I’m feeling good and to experiment with my own look. A way to really SEE myself physically (without cringing or deleting).
I honestly don’t think it’s the selfie itself that is the problem. It’s more than just being the person holding the camera and pointing at ourselves. It’s the need people feel for external validation in place of their own knowledge of self worth. It’s also weird when it becomes more important than actually being in the place you are at. I love a good selfie with a friend – I get excited to be out of the house and I kind of like to prove it actually happened! But I also don’t want to have my phone in my face so much that I am not PRESENT. Like you have mentioned, I have been working hard on being ‘in the picture’ as a mum, but also as a woman. I want my kid/s to look back and see portraits of their mum (even as an individual) and if I’m the person who has to take them – so be it!
I think it’s wrong to demonise the selfie itself, but important in this day and age to question our motivations behind them.
Great comment, I’m actually learning so much about how people view themselves I am really glad I asked the question.xxx
Well Lana, I can honestly say I have never taken a selfie. I’ve taken a few tipsy photos of me with someone else where only a quarter of our faces are showing… I can’t imagine how much sledging we would have received back in my day if we’d been taking solitary photos of ourselves and then posted them in a public forum. We’d have been howled down for being vain weirdos. But, things change I guess. I think my father thinks I’m a narcissistic twit for writing a blog about my boring life and putting it online so I think we have to put it down to a generational thing 🙂
Tell your father politely that he’s the twit for implying that we shouldn’t be able to laugh at your exploits xxx
Why not selfies ? What’s the big deal. I think it’s about exploring yourself. There are many reasons. I think when someone says they don’t get it, they are still being Judgemental. Humans are complex. You don’t really know what is going on behind a perfectly posed ‘selfie” why should people not celebrate themselves. Most people are normal. narcissism is a mental disorder. The notion that selfies are narcissistic is very short sighted and small minded.
Hey Druime, that’s quite some anger I am sensing coming through. Hope I am wrong. I never for a moment said that selfies are narcissistic. I don’t think that at all so I am not sure I would even have implied it. As you say, humans are complex and I am just trying to explore that
Hi Lana. Apologies that my words were misinterpreted as anger it was not my intention. I did feel however that there was some judgment in your words “I’ve been given to having issue with people of my own generation who do the same thing “. As for the narcissism I can plainly see you did not mention that word. I think I was making the point as it is something a lot of people associate with the “selfie” culture. I guess I just feel why do we need to question people so much. If they want to take a picture of themselves well then why not ?
I have thousands of photos of my children with their dad and only a handful of photos with me included. I was always the photographer in the family. I love the idea that I am now included in the photo. The sad fact though, is that none of these pictures ever see the light of day, they are all either on the computer or on my phone!
Solo Selfies are taken by people who have nothing better to do with their lives.
Never taken one, and not about to start.