Motherhood is not a challenge

If you are a Facebook user you’ve no doubt been inundated with pictures of other people’s kids going back to school – cute, pretty pictures of gingham dresses and school shirts that will never be the same shade of white ever again. They’re sweet to look at and sometimes even evoke a little emotion – although after seeing the 43rd photo of a shy smile in a school uniform it can get a little tiresome.

That’s the thing about looking at other people’s photos on Facebook. Someone else’s kids can get a bit boring after a while (as do their dinners and their sunsets). It’s great to see that everyone is happy and healthy (or at least showing you their happy, healthy moments) but is anyone really that interested in seeing little Timmy’s every single milestone? Everyone? Even those people who don’t have kids or those who have their own kids to look at?

It’s been a contentious issue with parents for a while now – how much of your children’s lives should you share with your social network? There are those who would tell you it’s not safe to share pictures and others who would tell you it’s a violation of their privacy, yet thousands of others will tell you there’s every reason to be proud of your children and you should show them off every chance you get.

Enter the Motherhood Challenge, the latest fad to hit Facebook: “Motherhood Challenge: I was nominated to post 3 pictures that make me happy to be a Mother. I’m tagging a few people that I think are great Mothers to post 3 pictures for the Motherhood Challenge! I will copy and paste this in the comments below for you. Here are my 3 pictures that make me happy to be a Mother?”

And then follows three (or more) usually perfectly posed, radiant and happy pictures that bring to mind ads for nappies and baby shampoo that any parent can attest to as being unrealistic, overly glossy and without enough of the raw exhaustion and washer woman hands that accompany parenthood.

Along with this, it also includes varied ingredients such as Muira Pauma bark, catuaba bark, hawthorn berry and others which are known to improve sexual performance. buying viagra in canada In most of the developed, the OAE test is now mandatory in all infants born out of ‘at-risk-pregnancies’. cialis for sale uk Rarer side effects 100mg viagra effects davidfraymusic.com include: Lightheadedness, dizziness, rash, reduced appetite, increased blood potassium, changes in the flavor of foods and swelling. You can easily attain erection support up to 4-6 hours and in some cases it has been noticed that Kamagra works pharmacy online viagra http://davidfraymusic.com/events/nfm-wroclaw-philharmonic-orchestra-florida/ quickly than the genuine one. Mums in the UK, where the fad seems to have originated, have come out in anger about the challenge claiming it’s dismissive to people who are unable to have kids, or to those who had lost their children. There are complaints about not being tagged as a great mum and of course those who complain that they were tagged when they didn’t want to be. Of course there were the many who were frustrated about having to see more pictures of other people’s children. A lot of anger until comedian Ellie Taylor came up with an alternative awesome response – the non motherhood challenge. Even the tired mums laughed.

https://www.facebook.com/230014757020572/photos/a.268811506474230.63551.230014757020572/1100616799960359/?type=3&theater

I’m not a fan of the Facebook challenge as a whole, I cunningly refuse to tell Facebook which books I have read or which movies I like in case that becomes another part of some challenge which pits me up against my more literary friends.

But a motherhood challenge seems to carry its own brand of smugness and competition. The very name implies rivalry or one upmanship and the pressure to tag other great mothers, is a bit unnecessary. Although that kind of attitude is often reported in the press, there is no mother I know who wants to be actively pitted against a group of other mothers to show who is better.

Facebook is full of opportunity to show the best and worst bits of our lives, it’s there to share your pictures and to comment on others. For many mothers who feel isolated it’s a place to share their joy and their struggles, a community that welcomes them and makes them feel part of the village we all need to bring up our children. Turning that joy and pleasure into a competition to rake up views and entice validation is not going to create any winners in the end.

Motherhood is not a challenge, it’s a privilege. Use your position wisely.

Comments

  1. Yes!!! I love this. I actually didn’t know much about the challenge, but now I know more, I am with you!
    I haven’t been tagged. Is this saying something??? :-).

  2. I just got tagged few minutes before reading your post !
    My kids are all grown and flown so our photos are not like the ones that everyone has these days capturing every moment of their child’s life . My photos are far between , fuzzy , grey and often unrecognisable . Being s busy mum if 3 boys , who had time to take dozens, race to photo shop with film and edit several days to get photos back only to find that most were pretty awful ! Not many made it to the albums in those days !

  3. No challenges will be accepted here. I don’t have anything to prove. Having this little girl in my life is enough.

  4. My ‘motherhood challenge’ is getting to the end of each day with minimal alcohol and maximum sanity. Some days I even win!

  5. Karen Marks says

    It drives me crazy the way people do that.
    My 20 year old daughter bought me a mug that says “World’s Okayest Mum”. I think that if I am doing OK and did not spend their whole childhood boasting about them I am doing alright

  6. It may not be a challenge, but today, dealing with an angry seven year old’s tantrum that lasted two hours, it was certainly challenging!

  7. This is a really interesting and well written article. I loved the point about your sister being surrounded by family. I think its such an individual decision. What suits one person isnt going to suit another and that is ok. Everyone needs to live the best life for themselves.

  8. ^Oh Dear, that was meant to go under the article about being childless. Sorry

Trackbacks

  1. […] a warning from the branch of the French Armed Forces in charge of public safety after the recent Motherhood Challenge telling parents “Be careful! We remind you that posting photos of your kids on Facebook is not […]

Leave a comment

*