I am obsessed with changing my face. I’m not blaming the media or advertising, this issue I am laying on my poor self esteem and desire for a non-freckled face and perfect eyebrows.

I‘ve had dismal results at getting the non-freckled face. Laser, the GDP of a small country spent in face creams, hiding from the sun in a manner vampires would approve of and I still have skin that would best be described as “pigmented”.

But eyebrows seem so much more manageable. The problem has always been the maintenance. I was getting them waxed and threaded and dyed and while they often looked quite okay, the periods of looking good were short.

So recently I decided to consult with a “specialist”. Someone that the inimitable Zoe Foster Blake had told me about in a previous life where Zoe and I chatted about beauty products for work.

I called Lien.

Okay we all know I didn’t call her. I don’t call anyone. I emailed her. She emailed back saying I should call her. I withdrew into my doona and fantasised about Zoe’s eyebrows.

Then I took the huge leap of courage and called her. Should have prepped with a valium.

“Send me a photo of your eyebrows” she said

Gasp.

Wait. What? A photo of my eyebrows? Like a selfie just of my eyebrows so she could assess the “damage” I had done to them. Her words not mine.

“I only do consultations where I can help people” she said.

I didn’t even know what that meant and I began to think she was quite mad. I wanted to put down the phone and tell her to stop being pretentious. But I had met her many years ago and I actually really liked her.

So I sent her a photo of my eyebrows and she agreed (Yes! Agreed!) to see me.

We made an appointment for that Friday which I think may have been the hottest day ever so I arrived at the salon literally glowing. Okay Sweating.

I walked into the room which you could have mistaken for the cubicle of a geometry nut. There was a ruler, set square, memories of year 10 maths and Pythagoras’s Theory. And eyebrow gel (okay so a geometry fan who has on point eyebrows).

Now normally when you have your eyebrows done you are treated to a little lie down while they tear hot wax off your face. But not here. Lien got me to sit upright on a chair so my face was at you know, a normal angle.

She made me hold a mirror in front of my face for the whole procedure which is one of the worst things you can do to me. But I was too scared to object, Lien had an authoritative tone and the best eyebrows ever. I wanted her to weave her magic on me.

She showed me the angle (using an actual ruler) that I wanted my eyebrows to be at. She showed me how to even them out so if I added to the top the bottom should match. Think parallel lines people, this is geometry class.

I’m going to be honest, I was not looking my best that day, my makeup had melted off in the heat and I was hot. I don’t cope with heat. But she magic-ed my eyebrows. She made them all gorgeous and frame-y and I could see an actual difference.

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This was going to have to become my new go-to place for eyebrows. I was secretly hoping it wouldn’t involve any more phone calls and quietly calculating how much this was going to add to my budget.

But then she spread the final bit of magic. “I am showing you how to do this so you don’t have to come back” she said.

“What? Ever?” I asked, the incredulity barely escaping my lips. I have never had a beauty type person say not to come back.

“But…but…but how do you make a living if I don’t have to come back every 4 weeks?” I asked as if I had just become her career/financial advisor.

She explained something about her love of teaching and her desire to do more than make money but I was so gobsmacked I barely listened. Also I was staring at my eyebrows.

It’s a few weeks later now. I have awesome eyebrows and a huge crush on Lien.

And now I am developing a new obsession – getting rid of the creases, I mean crevices, in my chest.

What’s been your best beauty trick/secret?

Edit: This is a very bad before and after picture reference because I am a shite photographer and hate selfies and think that maybe the evidence is better in real life. I just took the after shot about a minute ago after some people asked me on Facebook so there is no brow on my gels or any other trickery – just their new natural shape.