My son is going on camp next week. It is school camp and so it’s non negotiable – he has to go and quite frankly he is out of his mind excited. Wouldn’t you be if you got to spend 5 full days surrounded by your friends 24/7? No? Me Neither.
The school has given us a list of things that the children need to pack. It includes necessities such as underpants, clothes, toiletries and a torch. I have interpreted the list with the fervor only the highly consumerist mother of one child who is determined to spoil her child at all costs can muster.
In fact today when I went shopping I found myself buying three torches – the first was a regular type to brandish about at night and I’m assuming this is the only torch he’ll need, but I got carried away with the huge array of illuminating products on offer.
I very nearly bought him a soft LED light that I imagined he could plug into the wall of the dormitory if he got scared at night but then I realised that he sleeps in the total dark at home and he is not anxious about sleeping away at camp – that’s just me and him having a night light isn’t going to help that.
I did however buy him a little book light that he can sneak into his bed so that he can read after lights out and be exhausted and horrible the next day after not getting enough sleep. I also couldn’t resist the tiny light contraption that he can wear on his head just in case, you know, he feels the need to go mining while he is on camp.
The official camp list also said that the children were required to bring “toiletries”. Now my son is not that into toiletries. If by “not into” you mean that I have to force him to use soap in the shower by threatening him with x-box deprivation. But that didn’t stop me. No siree. Have you seen the travel range of toiletries that they make these days? How could I not buy him the world’s smallest bar of soap?
As I put the world’s smallest bar of soap into the trolley I noticed the world’s smallest bodywash and deodorant. And breath freshener. And hand cream. And make up remover. He’s 10 he does not need deodorant, breath freshener, hand cream or make up remover but I might.
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By mistake I also bought him a new book to read while he is away and a new pair of shorts and a couple of t-shirts and some very thin chocolates that I am going to sneak into the lining of his suitcase like drugs because you are not allowed to take food to camp. (In case you need to know Lindt is the thinnest chocolate they stock at my local supermarket – it is also the most expensive)
I came home from the shop with my bags overflowing with camp supplies. I eagerly showed Little Pencil the wonderful array of lighting products. He looked at me like I had gone completely mad. “I have a torch from last year,” he said.
Clearly we don’t deal with stress the same way, I thought that new things would settle anyone’s nerves.
Then it dawned on me that Little Pencil is not nervous at all, he is not stressed, he’s excited. Thrilled to be going away with his friends for a week while I stay at home and play with torches and miniature sized toiletries.
And I can’t help feeling that even if I am spoiling him terribly by trying to buy him all manner of things and even if I am not teaching him by example and indulging in needless shopping and consumerism, I must have done something right as a mother.
He is ready for a 5 day camp and I am almost ready to let him go.