What did you learn during the school holidays ?

Holidays can be tough on parents.  The 24/7 child on parent time can be fraught with Pokemon battles, squeaky Disney movies, playdates gone wrong, too much x-box time, beach sand in every crack, whingeing and late nights but it can also teach you a lot.  These are the lesson I learned these holidays

Don’t allow your son to choose his own clothes – Little Pencil has no idea of the weather conditions outside his air conditioned home.  It could be raining, it could be snowing or there could be a heat wave that incapacitates the entire Eastern seaboard.  He will wear his jeans with a giant hole in the knee and a particularly hideous t-shirt that his grandmother bought in a rash moment of utter and complete taste loss.

Don’t take other people’s children to the park – I wish I could qualify this one but my last trip to the park resulted in a broken arm (and that arm belonged to a friend whose mother no longer speaks to me.)

Don’t offer to look after 4 boys at once on the day that your cleaning lady comes – speaks for itself really.  I paid the cleaning lady to laugh at my stupidity

Take a tally of all your possessions on the beach before you ascend the 100 stairs to the car. Little Pencil loves 100 stair beach – a little harbour beach with 100 stairs that lead to the parking.  Others may describe the beach using such words as “idyllic”, “magnificent ” and “child friendly” but when you have left something on the beach in 40’ degree heat (twice) and only realise this when you get to the car (twice) , you too would call it the 100 stairs beach. And you would check your boogie board is with you when you leave the beach THE FIRST TIME.

Beach sand is immune to the showers at the beach. It does not matter how well you shower at the beach. It does not matter if you take a loofah and spend an hour under that shower you will still get sand in the car, the house and the washing machine.  There is no solution to this problem – it is just a matter of acceptance.

Megasizing your popcorn and drink at the movies can be hazardous to your health. It seemed like such a good idea to prove to Little Pencil that movies could be fun without dad.  Employing my best mothering technique (commonly referred to as bribery), I bought the biggest popcorn and drink meal deal.  Two weeks later and I am still finding popcorn kernels in my teeth and Little Pencil is still buzzing from the sugar

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But these holidays were not all about Little Pencil.  I learned some pretty good lessons of my own, lessons I should have probably learned long ago.

Don’t put Deep Radiance Gel Oil on just one leg before applying self tan – it affects the tan application.  It also affects the general look of your leg which is not a problem at all. Unless you only put it on one leg

Do not attempt to wash the toothpaste stain off your dress while the dress is on. You get very wet, so wet and foamy that all you can do is wish for a little toothpaste to absorb the moisture

Do not wear a swimming costume that has not been tried on for years (especially if you suspect there may be an elastic problem) Trust me.  You will not be at all comfortable at the beach.  And  when your husband says it is not even noticeable you will know that he is lying (especially when you feel the breeze on your bum)

Enjoy the holidays with your children Soon they will be grown up and you will miss the times you  splashed in the sea all day, sang made up songs in the car, tried your hand at skateboarding to the giggling delight of your 8 year old, ate chocolate on toast for breakfast and laughed all day at nothing at all.

What did YOU learn these school holidays?