The rules

Little Pencil was sick at home for a couple of days.  Awful?  Yes.  I hate it when my child is sick.  I worry, I fret, I panic and I pamper.

The worry I can sort of deal with (hello voice of reason,  Mr Pencil), the fretting I can cope with (rescue drops) and the panic can be tempered by a quick visit to the doctor.  Unfortunately it is the pampering that gets me unstuck.

When Little Pencil does not feel well he seems to get this primal urge to crawl back inside me, to be as close to me as humanly possible.  And when he gets as close as he can – he complains that I am too far away.  So for three days he has sat on my head.

The only hope that I had of regaining use of my limbs and head was engaging him in a game. And many a time, when heavily involved in a game of Little Pencil’s choice , I have honestly wished to lose my limbs because clearly my head was completely surplus to requirements..

These are the rules of playing a game with Little Pencil

• He will make up the rules.  Even if you are playing a game with printed rules that have been around for longer than he has, he will have modified rules.  If you object to the new rules he will make up an entirely plausible reason why his rules are better. If you object further he will rescind externally only.  It wont be long before you notice you are playing by his rules anyway.
• He will spend 25 minutes explaining the rules.  Sometimes this means you only get to hear the rules but you don’t get to play the game.  This only happens when you are very lucky.   You can actually draw the rule explanation out by 10 minutes by asking simple questions like – what happens after that? This question works even after all the rules have been explained.
• If you are playing a game where you can choose a character to “be” he will always choose the better character.  His character will always have better powers than yours.  If you stake the claim that yours is the best in the world, he will proclaim “My guy taught your guy”
• If you are allowed to choose special powers or attributes for your character, his guys will have your traits as well as his own ones.
• His character will be allowed to change mid game.  Your character is not allowed any development at all.  He finishes as he starts.
• You are not allowed to show any signs of boredom or frustration, Little Pencil can walk away when he’s had enough (ie when he thinks of something else he’d rather do)
• You are not allowed to create any mundane or “girly” stuff  – if you choose to build a house out of lego, he will transform it into a wrestling arena, if you build a bridge – it becomes a cannon, if you try to choose to be a girl – it is only on the proviso that you are the mother of a wrestler

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Sounds like fun hey?  Bet you want to borrow Little Pencil for a day of board games and lego building.  Or he could just stay with me and sit on my head.

Do your kids play by the rules?