I have waited for such a long time to feel all grown up but, at 40 something (something very low), I can safely say that I don’t feel any closer to being there.
With no offence at all to my mother, she was always old. Not old in a bad way and not even old as in she was 90 when I was born, because obviously she wasn’t, but she was always old in a mature way, she acted like a grown up. I have kept expecting that to happen to me, for me to be grown up like my mother. In fact I can’t believe that I have a child and I make a vague attempt at running a home and holding down some semblance of a job. I actually only feel about 16. Sadly I probably look about 56.
I remember when I was a little girl and my mother had friends over – they always seemed to sit on chairs and speak about very sombre, serious and worldly stuff. When my friends come over I sit on the floor and I talk absolute nonsense, mainly obsessing about what I should eat and then complaining that I eat too much.
I look at teens in their school uniforms sneaking a cigarette outside the service station and I genuinely believe that I am one of them (not that I am at school or that I am a smoker but that I might be a bit of a rebellious teenager). But I have never been included and in fact none of these people have ever made eye contact with me. My husband says it is because they see me as an old woman. I think they can tell that I am just not a smoker.
I like the same music as my 13 year old nephew and I am convinced that my 19 year old niece sees me as her contemporary. She just doesn’t want me to hang with her and her friends because I am family. It can’t possibly be because I am old and staid and boring, because I am not.
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My favourite food would have to be plain butter cake with blue icing. No grown ups like that do they? Do they?
And then the other night I went out and some genuinely young person looked right at me and without a flicker of hesitation, she said to her friend “Why are there so many old people here tonight?”
I remain shattered.
Seems I may really be grown up after all. Why is it that I never felt it happen?
Hey Lovely Lady,
You look Sharp to me (sorry) but seriously, I’ve seen your picture here and I think you do look smokin’! 😉
Whenever I have a meeting at my son’s school with a class teacher or Principal, I NEVER fail to have that drifting moment, however fleeting, where I contemplate the utter absurdity of being there in the capacity of a grownup parent, not as a kid in trouble. Then try to pretend I wasn’t daydreaming while they were talking to me.
And as for the inflamatory comment of that ‘genuinely young person’, had it been at me, I believe without a flicker of hesitation, I’d have turned to my own company and clearly observed: “Wow, how come there are so many STUPID people here tonight?”
My best 🙂 x x x x
Love the image of you in the principal’s office xx
Oh, babe. All I can think is my husband watching the news the other night. President Obama was on doing something and the announcer happened to mention his age- exactly the same as my husband’s. Hub immediately turned to our 8yo daughter and said “Hey, I don’t look the same age as him, do I?” “No way daddy,” she replied, smiled, then said “You looks heaps older.”
Sad thing was she was serious. Sadder still, he does. But that’s only because black people’s skin doesn’t show the lines as quickly. Or at least that’s what I told him.
You are young at heart. And I bet you’re hot too. xx
My son thinks I am older than the hills. He probably thinks I look like the hills too
I agree that we are as old as we feel – and that the number that makes us our age is just there for, say in my case now a NSW Seniors Card…but I really think that anyone I show this too (Muffin Break 10%off) SHOULD say ” come on, that couldn’t be yours ”
Alas, hasn’t happened.. I truly think that I am about mmm 35 but here’s the maths … This would make my daughter 4 years older than me 🙁
Look, Lana, I’m coming over to your house, with plain butter cupcakes and blue icing and we can sing songs and have laughs but… Remember that I still have to get home before dark because that’s when mum said I should come home..OMG I’m now in the 1960s.
I’m confused – maybe I’ve growed right into old age
*sob*
Old age? Not even close. Not with your tweets and your MM posts! Too cool for school you are !
Aw shucks Lana – them’s lovely words xx
I have met you and my first thought was a) how petite you are and b) how pretty you are.
And as I type this I am eating my son’s leftover birthday butter cake with icing, except it’s green, not blue.
Not grown-up here either
xxx
Stuff the pretty and petite – I want green icing xxxx (thanks though!)
What a coincidence! I have a friend from graduate school who used to refer to people as “grown ups.” Recently, I asked her if she finally felt like a grown up (she too is in her EXTREMELY early 40’s ;-)) Below is her response:
“Well let’s see here…..do I feel like a grown up? The answer is “yes” when I consider the following:
1) I can eat less than 1000 calories a day, work out 5 times a week, and yet my stomach still looks like it is stashing 3 gallons of cottage cheese
2) I could very likely “die of old age” in fewer years from now than I have actually been alive
3) It is difficult for me to stay up past 10:30pm on “school nights”
4) A hangover (caused by the same amount of alcohol as I would drink 10 years ago) now puts me out of commission for a minimum of two days
5) I periodically grunt whilst lifting my fat ass from a seated position
6) I often don’t do things simply because it is deemed to involve “far too much rigmarole”
The answer is an emphatic “no” when I consider the following:
1) I still do not understand people who listen to classical music at our age…those people will always be far more “grown up” than I am!
2) I will somewhat often find myself amongst friends out on our deck on a stray Tuesday night completely hammered and “daring” each other to do things that results in MUCH tomfoolery
3) I still don’t really find much appealing about OTHER people’s children 🙂
4) 90% of the shows I DVR fall into the BAD reality programming (yes, shows like “For the Love of Ray J” and “Rock of Love” ARE “can’t miss” shows for me!)
5) I have never yet, not once, watched a show on PBS
6) I am not grown up enough to REALLY understand our political system…I figure the REAL grown-ups will sort out all that 🙂
Now after reading my reasons for “yes” I realize that none of those speak to me being a GROWN UP….rather just OLD. ”
I concur that one can be old…without being a grown up. However Mrs. Pencil, I suspect you are a grown up my old friend. Your struggles and fights have tinted you with wisdom and maturity that is clearly visible to others. Because of this, no one will invite you for a schmaff (cig), because you probably know it’s bad for their health. Don’t confuse “grown up”, “mature”, and “old”. They are barely related. You will bless little pencil with a goofy, young at heart, but mature Mom. The most immature being on earth is a baby. He can think of no one else but himself. The most mature being is a mom…who would die for another person without question. She’ll even listen to the Jonas Brothers (if you have them in Australia). Be a young at heart Mom…get goofy, get down to some cheddar cheesey music…and stay young at heart.
I suspect I am too old to be goofy. But not too old to cry – thanks Trev xxxx
How not to act old?? it is probably very poor blogger form to hi-jack someones comments with a post from your own blog – but I am a newbie and do not know shit. So here is something I wrote a while back which is relevant. xoxo
How Not To Act Old – Pamela Redmond Satran
•Stop covering up your underwear
•Don’t fear porn
•Don’t send greeting cards
•Don’t listen to Springsteen
•Quit bossing everyone around
•Don’t cyber-stalk your children
•Don’t fear the waxer
•Screw the housework
•Don’t be named Bob or Pat
I actually think I am too far gone. Mr Woog is ancient.
•Mr Woog and I watch the news to see what the weather will be like the following day
•Mr Woog and I enquire each morning how the other slept
•I take a few minutes each morning to stretch out all my kinks in this old body of mine
•I gargle with Listerine quite a bit
•I sometimes have to have a Quick-Eze
•My grey hair to brown hair ratio is diminishing
•A late night is 11pm
•Mr Woog rubs his hands with glee when presented with cherry strudel
•Sometimes I wake Mr Woog up on a Thursday night to gently enquire whether he has put the bins out
•I am friendly with the parking officers in our street
•I sometimes listen to 2UE and agree with the callers
•I actually own enough tupperware to have a dedicated drawer.
Please do not think ill of me. I am now aware of these disturbing behaviours and am going to do my best to correct them, goddammit. I am going to stop short of having a Horlicks before bed and will never ever buy Metamucil.
Love it! Thanks for sharing
xx
As a 40 something (something very low) year old myself…I’m hearing ya sister!!
The other night I was in bed reading, and I looked at my un-moisturised hands. (And before I go on I should mention that my fingers were bending back a bit so the backs of my hands were a bit puckered. If that makes sense?) So, I was looking at my hands, with the fingers bent back, and I thought “How the hell did I get older ladies skin?” It seems like just yesterday they were taught as a new drum skin. Surely if you still listen to JJJ your hands have no business looking like that?
My hubby and I often watch the tele (not that we’re old) and when they interview someone around the same age both say ‘good grief, they look much older than we do’. Or so we reckon. We are both in our very extremely low 40s (sounds very Charlie & Lola, that, and I like it) and both wondering when the Grown Up feeling will hit us. Not yet. Probably not ever I expect.
I reckon you’re only ever Grown Up to other people who are younger. To you, you remain the best possible you, which is often a younger you.
Oh we can SO relate to this – I feel so uncomfortable at our oldest’s high school events – because I really feel like I should/could be sitting there in a school uniform. (So glad I’m not though…)
All of this is a great argument for living in the moment – because it was just the other moment I too was 12 or 14 …
Yup. When I’m crying on the phone to you and you’re giving me the most incredibly insightful and inspiring advice, you seem pretty grown up to me.