Have you ever bribed your child to sit still and be quiet – I have. In fact yesterday I spent more on iTunes than most record company moguls spend in a month. Yes, I understand they don’t actually spend money on iTunes but you get my drift.
I think I have been paying for the ups and downs of being a very disorganised mother
Up
It’s school holidays
Down
It’s school holidays
Up
Little Pencil was going to a friend for the day and I was going to work
Down
Friend’s mum called to say they were busy in the morning
Up
I have the most flexible work arrangements in the universe so I could work from home in the morning and go in later in the day after dropping Little Pencil at his friend
Down
The friend called to say their arrangements had changed could we come in the morning.
Up
Either way was good for me
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Down
Little Pencil caught a tummy bug
Up
It was not very bad
Down
It was bad enough that he could not go to a friend’s house. Not with my conscience clear.
Up
He could come to the office with me
So there I was at the office with a not very sick child, a lot of work to complete, an iTouch, a novel, not enough snacks and a very frayed mood. Did I mention that I am moving house at the end of the week?
My child is an angel, really he is. But even angels are not so good at sitting in an office for hours on end.
And he tried so hard. But every time I needed to move he moved with me; every time I needed to concentrate he read aloud to me; every time I needed it to be quiet he sang. Every time I got cold he would open the door but every time I got warm he would insist on closing the door. Every time I offered him something to eat he refused but as soon as I got involved in something else he would ask for food. It was a nightmare and my nerves were frayed.
So I resorted to Bribery 101 and said he could download some apps for his iTouch. I reckoned I was paying for some peace and quiet and I swatted away my feelings of being a very bad mother, a useless worker and a hideous multi tasker. I just knew that if he had “unlimited” access to downloads I would off the hook for hours.
He downloaded an app and immediately began to beg me to play monopoly on the iTouch. He literally chased me around my own office with the screen of his iTouch glaring at me furiously. What kind of cruel monster creates a monopoly application?
We left the office. And I remembered that I had forgotten to give him lunch.
This was the first day of holidays – today was worse.
I have never bribed my children.
If by “never” you mean “always”.
You are a fabulous mother.. oh and you forgot to mention the Nigella worthy burger cupcakes…
Thank you so much. I never thought of using i-tunes. *wanders off with new bribery tools in tow*
My kids are still young, so I still use the relatively inexpensive bribe of foxtel (paid for monthly over 24 months because the current 13 FTA channels don’t have kiddie programs on demand).
Anyway, our situation has gotten so bad that they now refuse to let me put the telly on. Me: “Pleeeeease can you watch some more telly???” Them: “Um, no, we’re done. We want to do whatever you’re doing and sit on every part of you as you do it”
But iTunes hey? Nice to know there are other options available to me down the track (like tomorrow maybe, even if they are still toddlers).
No mother of the year here either 🙂
I don’t have kids, but this entry made me snort my tea out of my nose. You write beautifully SP!!! xx
Hello making it a treat for 3yo to choose his favourite movie EVERY night after dinner til bed time. After I’ve been at work all day. Shittest mother ever, but he is off tap by 6pm.
And hey, be thankful he’s not a ten year old girl and on the phone to his friend so much people think our phone is rooted.
Good luck with the move. This means reno’s are complete?
I never bribe my daughter…only because she doesn’t really get the concept yet! But I’m sure the time will come!
If you ask me, bribery is what the iPhones, iTouches, and iPads are for…!
Do not buy into Supernanny’s crap. Bribery is the ONLY thing that works. This is why my Miss 4 had an inceblock at 8.45am this morning.
Ah, the joys of it all. Fortunately, we’re not up to apps of any way, shape or form. I can still hold them off with a Freddo Frog and a Captain Underpants book. But I see this method in my future.
Hilarious! I think this is just an issue of branding. It’s not bribery necessarily – really just a treat considering the special circumstances of being sick and in your office.
I work from home a couple of days a week and am certainly no stranger to the use of the “baby computer” (portable DVD player) and an Iphone app called Talking Larry to get us through when some work needs to be done.
Good on you for putting it out there!
For keeping the guilts from swarming angrily around my head, I like to call it ‘gentle persuasion’. This strategy gets more use than the knife block (though there are times when the two of them come dangerously close to being used in conjunction…don’t tell anyone)
I never did like Monopoly! lol 🙂
LOL!
Monopoly. it wasnt so long ago that I was chasing my dad, mum, brother, dog… anyone who would show the vaguest interest, in to playing the delightful game with me… And I could never understand why on earth no one wanted to play with me…
Until my 6 yr old neice became obsessed with it, and began chasing me around — it was then that I realised that bullying my family in to playing with me had come full circle… That realisation was glaringly obvious as my step-sister, brother and dad all watched with a certain smugness about them as I played with my neice that I wished I could wipe off of their pretty little mooshes.
working from home is the best job that you can get, you will always find comfort in your home while working *;*