Not long ago I was saying how young I felt.
That changed after I went to see the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards on Friday night. In fact I now feel ancient
We arrived early to see the Orange Carpet. I heard shrieking and immediately I thought that there had been a huge accident. I had forgotten that young girls shriek when they see someone on a red carpet, even if the carpet is orange and even if the person is a security guard.
There was a cast of thousands lined up to see the orange carpet. My friend and I were the eldest people there. Including the stars and the security personne (and I am older than my friend)
The kids (and by kids I mean the hordes of people under 30 including actual kids) were shrieking and taking photos of anybody that stepped foot onto the orange carpet. I had no idea who anyone was until the moment I saw Amanda Keller. I almost wept with joy that I recognised somebody, even if no one else recognised her, she being a radio personality and all. In my day she was a TV person, she presented Beyond 2000. Yes, I understand the irony in that.
The hordes of people were standing precariously balanced on tables and chairs around this brilliant orange carpet. I, being the responsible (and um, older) person worried a lot about the weight of these people on the tables that had clearly been built to hold only food. I was visibly relieved when security came to tell everyone to get down and I mentally yee-hahed. I was aghast when the crowds climbed back on as soon as he turned his back. I was so very tempted to tell them to get down…but I was petrified nobody would listen to me.
One of the lowest points of the night came when we spotted Lincoln Lewis. I had NO idea who he was, but he was signing autographs and posing for photos so I assumed he wasn’t an audience member. Little Pencil wanted his autograph, as you do when you are nine and everyone else is doing it. So we fought the crowds and went to get his arm signed (we had not come very well prepared). Little Pencil is little (hence his name) and he was being ever so polite in trying to get Lincoln’s attention. I thought it was never going to happen so I kind of er, indicated he was there. I cringe at the memory. I may have been a little effusive in saying “please can you sign his arm”. And Lincoln Lewis who must be about half my age, chastised me. And he told me to “Calm down Mum”. I am still crimson with shame.
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I tried to point out all the awful things about standing in the mosh pit. Telling children that they would have to stand for the entire performance is not a deterrent. Nor is telling them they would get covered in slime and be sticky, gooey and probably smelly.
Anyway the security was tight and there was no way they were getting into the slime mosh pit so they adjusted to their plight and ran down to the front of the section in which we were sitting and found themselves “better” seats. At one point I went down to check on them. On my way back to my seat I noticed that my friend and I were sitting slap bang in front of the entire cast of Australia’s Next Top Model.
It was around then I started to feel even older than Methusela.
And when I got bored (and tried to hide from the super models sitting behind me), I took out my phone and started checking comments on Mamamia . I felt like I had a starring role in Revenge of the Nerds, then I remembered that everyone around me was too young to remember Revenge of the Nerds.
Have you ever been anywhere that made you feel ancient?
LOL… I am sorry but this post cracked me up so much!!! Especially this;
“I saw Amanda Keller. I almost wept with joy that I recognised somebody, even if no one else recognised her, she being a radio personality and all. In my day she was a TV person, she presented Beyond 2000. Yes, I understand the irony in that.”
Look, I’m about to turn 27 in about half a week, but … I went to the Nick Awards when I was about 20 as I had quite a penchant for Guy Sebastian and not really much else… but even then, at 20, I felt guilty for being there — I felt guilty where there were little kids behind me fighting to say hello to their favourite big brother housemates (seriously, nick awards, seriously.) so I decided to take a step back.
I think it was actually the first ever Nick Awards so it was not as crazy as you have described as there were not as many people. But I do remember the shoving and pushing and by God, do I remember the shrieking. It still wakes me up at night…
But yes, at 20 years old I even felt too old to be there, and a little ashamed of myself. But not too ashamed to leave when Guy Sebastian was on approach with open arms. hahahaha.
Awesome blog! 🙂 Thanks for the chortles. You should have slapped the cheeky bugger for telling you to calm down, he probably wouldnt have been too old for it!
Back in the days before children I was a corporate trainer for a call centre. Most of the staff were young, but I did not realise just how young they were until one day I made a reference to the group Buck’s Fizz.
*cue the sound of chirping crickets*
It appeared that most of them were either in utero or nappies when “Making Your Mind Up” was all over the airwaves. *sigh*
Honey, I don’t need to leave my house to feel ancient. And I am glad LP had such a great time.
Spencer is HOT!
And who the fuck is Lincoln Lewis?
Brave braver bravest woman!!
YOU got the tix & you went..surely that’s given you more “my mum’s cool” status now..!?
Seriously..I applaud YOU..forget those awards nights for teens and mini mes and so-called
‘stars’ because you did what I would not do-
Attend !
You got me with the “people standing on tables meant for food —- that’s us teacher/mums
Recently I felt old when I had my solo holiday to Palm Cove (the solo bit was great, only me to argue with about dinner/activities/tours).
Parents with their kids at the Beach Club were NOT watching their kids…they were drinking cocktails
I was the one watching for accidents and started thinking I was back doing playground duty-ARGH
I felt old because no-one else there was bothered.
Last time I saw Lincoln Lewis it was on Getaway or Better Homes & Gardens or one of those other shows for ancient people. He is the son of Wally. And destined to lose his hair young. And, one day, people will be telling him to ‘calm down Dad’. That’s all I know.
Reading your post this morning feeling like crap, up too early and a tad hungover, waiting for my three kids to wake up – about to feel like the old one all day – in my own home.
Loved your post it made me laugh out loud a lot. Message to Lincoln Lewis: “You’re a little shit. Now go to time out.”
Am late to this, but this is GOLD:
“I had forgotten that young girls shriek when they see someone on a red carpet, even if the carpet is orange and even if the person is a security guard.”
Brilliant! And so glad I didn’t have to go 🙂
I feel old at school…I’m at least 10 years older than most of the other mums.
And today the doctor told me my blood pressure was a little high, it’s never been close to high before, it’s always been a little low if anything.
Whoever said ‘Life begins at 40’ is a big fat liar!
ROFLMAO
Hilarious post.
And FYI? I feel that ancient today.
I remember Revenge of the Nerds…but I am also looking at resumes of people who weren’t yet born when I was leaving high school…feeling old and frightened about bright young things with boundless energy 🙂 xx