Most days my little boy is a real boy. Well actually he is always a real boy anatomically but there are times when he really acts like the stereotypical boy. He loves wrestling, he is rather keen on standing behind doors and shooting when I walk past (okay this is not sounding so good), he has a ball attached to his foot whenever he walks outside – no, it is not some medical condition that causes him to grow a ball on his foot – he just loves to kick a ball. He makes fart jokes, he laughs at his father’s pathetic dad jokes and he thinks girls have germs.
All very 9 year old boyish.
But then there are days, like today when he is more in touch with his sensitive side. Today Little Pencil put aside the x-box and the gameboy. He abandoned the TV and even ignored the lego all in pursuit of the rather large fluffy toy collection that I have stashed at the top of his cupboard. Admittedly he came to the fluffy toy collection when he was looking for something “big and soft” to wrestle, but that is just where he started.
I took down from the cupboard about 30 fluffy toys – many bears and dogs, an elephant, a tiger or two, a swan and a couple of monkeys and a very special bear and platypus. Little Pencil lovingly placed the toys on the top bunk and then created some complicated system that the animals could use to climb to the top of the bed. He was very gentle and caring and compassionate and kind. But I was standing at the door with my hands clenched and my breath held.
In amongst Little Pencil’s collection lie Milton and Pooky. Milton and Pooky are my oxygen and my water although to the casual observer they look like stuffed animals – in fact a platypus and a bear.. They have been with me for a very long time and they have been with me through some extremely tough times. Milton is matted with tears (and maybe even a bit of snot from some particularly hysterical bouts of crying) and Pooky is er, he is very well loved and he looks it.
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When it came time to clean up I could not reach the top cupboard to stack them neatly so I asked Mr Pencil to help. I instructed him that Milton and Pooky should lie next to each other and face forward, not be squashed and have nothing hard on top of them. They should have room to breathe and to move and they shouldn’t be uncomfortable. He, not being in touch with his sensitive side today, looked at me like I was on drugs. But he often looks at me like that and I knew he would take good care of “my boys”. He always has.
And now that Milton and Pooky are fast asleep at the top of the cupboard I am remembering how much comfort they offered to me and how much I needed them when I was growing up. And really – I just want to climb up and bring them back down.
And I would if I didn’t think my dog would eat them.
We all have a Milton or a Pooky. Some of us are just more able to share our connection to them than others. Well done you. Mine is a basically just a lump of cloth now but she still stays close by. Hidden in the bottom on my bedside cabinet, longing to be hugged again. Like you though, I can’t do that as I’m certain the puppies would find her delicious. 🙂 xx
Oh, what a beautiful post – a love story and sweetly told.
And today,in the rain and gloom, that was the perfect time to “find these special friends” again.
(BTW – were they in the cupboard when the house was being made beautiful?)
I don’t have a Pooky or a Milton (but I wish I had and I love their names)…but, I have a confession.
I have a special, from childhood pillow.
Yes, health experts will be ‘eerking’ and ‘aarghing’ but I still have it as a top, most comfortable and comforting pillow every night.
Good night, sweet dreams! XX
Beautiful story. xx
So sweet – I love this softer side of such a Sharp Pencil 😉 xo
That last line made me truly laugh out loud! Loved seeing this side of you and of Littlest Pencil. I have an 11 yo boy who likes nothing more than to surf and to hunt for frogs/octopuses/geckos and keep them next to his bed… but he also still sleep with an old silk nightie of mine because he says “It makes me think of you”. I love these softer sides of our boys… I hope we can find a way to keep them alive and keep them unafraid of expressing them as they become men. xxx
My son has a battered panda bear he has had since he was an infant. He managed to stroke the tag off in the first year, and over the years, ‘Teddy’ (that’s his name), has become more and more patchy. I’ve stitched him and mended him and we lovingly wash him from time to time. My daughter has a collection of soft toys, and she rotates her favourites. She was recently thrilled to find her ‘silky’ – a little patch of cloth my German relatives gave her when she was a baby. I was amazed she remembered it.
I had a plush frog called Nancy. She was not the most attractive frog, but I was bought her in the period after my parents’ separation and she became my special friend. I had her until I was 14 when I ‘gave’ her to my then baby cousin. (My aunt told me to give it to him, so I’m not sure how much of my own free will was involved.) But Nancy always remained in my heart. Two years ago I was in an op shop and, lo and behold, there was another Nancy! For $2 I bought my old/new friend home and she now lives side by side with my two daughters multiplying hordes of soft toys.
Very touching post.
I agree with you – fluffy pencil would not let them live on the bed for more than 5 minutes. He needs to be cuter and fluffier than all who come before him.
gorgeous… 🙂
I’m a little choked up at the thought of Little Pencil treating your revered ‘friends’ with such care. He sounds very similar to Le Artiste.
How lovely. xx
‘Teddy” lives on the end of my bed. She was bought for me on my birthday from the hospital gift shop, 21 years ago. She’s been with me through moving (14 different houses in 21 years!), 8 different schools, several hospital admissions (one of 4 months). I’ve bawled into her fur and took her to China!
Love this post. You’re such a beautiful writer SP!
stuffed animals are very cute and lovely, i bet that most kids and even women loves them -“~