I don’t want to write an anti- government post. Wait, that’s not true. I want to write how angry I am with the government, the mental health system and the fact that there is no long term for care for people with mental illness in this country. And no, allowing mentally ill people to live in hostels with no medical supervision or no follow up and having people living on the streets is not considered long term care in my book.
My brother-in-law is schizophrenic. If his illness were physical he would be in a hospital, he’d have 24 hour care and people would flood his room with love, flowers and good wishes. But his illness is mental. So he is alone and scared . And he is not in a hospital. In fact he is in between homes AGAIN.
He is often between homes because he is sick. Would this happen if his illness were physical? Of course not, but because his illness is mental he behaves inappropriately and he gets evicted from whichever place his parents have found him to live. I am not having a go at the numerous landlords who have evicted him, I know he is hard work. I know that they cannot put up with the erratic and often alarming behaviour. He is one of my family and I find it hard.
He has not one friend in the world and he cannot hold down a job. His days are a nightmare of medication induced sleep and loud and menacing voices that only he can hear. He is a man you would see in the street and dismiss as being a homeless addict but he is my husband’s brother. He is a son, an uncle and a very kind and generous soul. He used to be an energetic and charismatic person but his disease has taken his personality and whipped it into a scared (and sometimes scary) person.
The toll that the disease has taken on him is as clear as the mess it has left in its wake. My husband and his family are in a state of perpetual worry. They agonise about the man they love and they don’t know how to help him.
That doesn’t mean only those with severe cases should consider purchase of levitra acupuncture, but at the same time, if you don’t have enough sodium in your diet the body pulls it from the bones, making them weak. Lower back pain can strive browse around this pharmacy sildenafil rx anybody, although some people are at a higher risk of faced with erectile problems. These cures enhance the blood circulation to the reproductive organs of the men. levitra samples new.castillodeprincesas.com A man with low testosterone may also notice a decrease online cialis http://new.castillodeprincesas.com/directorio/seccion/videografos/?wpbdp_sort=-field-1 in sperm during ejaculation. Mental health will check on him when they have the time or the resources but most of the time he wont let them in the door so they leave. Sometimes, if he’s lucky, he’ll get arrested and spend a couple of days in a psych ward and then another tortured soul will need the bed and he’ll be back on the streets with no plan for the future, no follow up and seemingly no care. If his family try to intervene he gets angry (or at least he displays his fear as anger).
The private hospitals wont treat him. In fact the last time he spent three nights in a private hospital they sent him home saying he was not sick enough to be there – the next day he was arrested for assault. Seems sick enough to me. Then he was evicted from his home again and he cried because he didn’t understand why.
I watch my husband filled with despair about his brother and my heart goes out to him. I see the pain and concern in his eyes and I want to tell him that he’ll be okay, that we’ll look after him. But it wont be okay and we cannot look after him because he is too sick and he needs psychiatric care.
I wonder what goes on in my brother-in-law’s head. But, when I see him listening intently to sounds that aren’t there or when he starts to tell stories that have no basis in reality I can’t bear to think of it anymore and I can switch off. He can’t. He lives this nightmare each and every day.
What are we supposed to do? Where can we get help for him? How can we make this hideous nightmare of a life bearable in the long run?
As you know, I hurt for you and the family. No individual is to blame for this situation; it is a systemic problem in our health care system. Mental health does not get the publicity of, say, breast cancer or heart disease, and therefore it is far less well understood and accepted in our community. It is a tragedy for people like your BIL and those who love him. The more posts like this, the more chance we have of getting recognition of this terrible disease, and the resources to cure it.
You know I love you don’t you? And you know how much your real life and virtual support mean to me? Cool. Just want the whole world to know
Just so very, very, very, very sad.
Thank you xx and really thank you for all your support IRL
Yes.
My sister in law has bipolar and psychotic episodes and her illness has had an enormous impact on her life and those of the people who love her.
My brother in law is schizophrenic, but one of the lucky ones whose life has become manageable with medication.
Their mother was bipolar. Many of their cousins are – on both sides of the family. As my SIL tells me, I married ‘mad’.
This might be my children one day as there is a strong genetic component to many of these diseases.
Your post, and Kerri’s comment, just brought it home to me that I should be somehow trying to help change this, not just living with it.
In all seriousness though… how? I’m genuinely going to think about this and come up with a way to at least do my bit in influencing this.
Oh Linda – I will help you in any way I can! Thank you and my heart goes out to your family
I used to work in mental health and it is as fristraing and upsetting for the people who work in the system as it is for the people who use the system (and their families). I agree with Kerri , more posts like this will hopefully help in getting the word out about the breakdown in our healthcare system that has mental health clients suffering with inadequate care. My heart goes put to you & your family x
Thank you for helping my post be that much stronger in its message
Hi,
I have a BIL who has struggled for years and remains undiagnosed. Currently in a ward in a country town, without family around him.
All I can think to say to you is thank you for sharing and keep advocating and following your big heart.
I hope his journey becomes easier
xxxx
Thank you and I hope that your brother-in-law too finds peace
Oh my dear Lana – I feel so much of your pain in those words .
I am so very sorry that there is so much anger, heartache and sadness in writing about your brother in law. Yet, you also write with commission , generosity of spirit and heart as well as from a place of love.
I am in total agreement with you about the disgraceful treatment and policies (nothing useful for your b I l ) that so-called “experts” and Politically Correct bureaucrats determine to “give people their rights as citizens”
How true, that there is NO place of safety or security or proper care for b I l and in the meantime a family’s love for him cannot cover his true needs.
I agree – we have no inkling about what’s happening inside his brain and his being. There are meds, yes of course they need to be taken regularly for effect. Who is caring for him ??
In a loving way his family is but in a properly supervised place of care and treatment, no-one cares.
What a shameful and disgraceful situation this govt ( whichever one) has placed this man in …no home …no supervision …no hope
And a family watches and waits in …fear for him and his life.
Thank you so much Denyse xxx
Like you said Lana, if he had big bloody gaping wound in his head, he would be admitted and fixed up to the best of the hospitals ability.
The best of their ability when it comes to the mental health though, is just not good enough.
The damage all of this has on family and friends is so tragic.
My Brother in Law is very similar. Phil’s second youngest brother got stuck into the pot as a late teen and that, combined with being the one who found his best mate drowned in the back canal after he went for a lunchtime swim and hit his head on a rock, basically ended up with him becoming a paranoid schizophrenic.
He’s tried to kill himself. He’s hidden knives and threatened all of us in one way or another. As you know, as you become a family yourself, your first instinct is to protect you children, so we shielded them from him for a lot of the time.
Phil’s parents were in denial for so, so long. I think my heart breaks for his mum the most. No matter what, he’s still her son. Was once her baby. I’m not sure his death would have been harder on her.
Sorry fully hijacked the post.
I agree, not sure when the government will figure out this is just not going to go away.
Bern, I bloody love you and every word you write
Lana,
I read your story with tears streaming down my cheeks. I went to school with a gorgeous blonde beauty who was the “it” girl. In her first year out of school it became obvious that someone was going on and rapidly she slid in to the world of schizophrenia. For the past 25 years I have watched her go through so much pain, in and out of care, trying different drugs, being hurt by people who didn’t understand, going to dark and ugly places. There is nothing harder than not being able to help someone you love. I agree, because it’s a mental illness people don’t seem to have the same capacity for compassion. Brilliant post, I’m sure it will make people think.
*sobs* Thank you for sharing that story with me. So much pain
What a sad story, and how tragic that there are so many more out there that are similar. This situation is obviously the pointy end of the wedge, but mental health care is woefully inadequate for every one from the high-need schizophrenic through to the highly functioning person with anxiety. I feel like when societies of the future look back on us today in terms of mental health it will be like us looking back on the middle ages when they used to do things like ‘blood-letting’ for infection because they were so ignorant of the body and its workings. It’s so strange because every one has been touched by mental illness in some form or another, whether themselves or a loved one, and yet it is grouped as a ‘sub-category’ and often put in the ‘too hard’ basket.
I think it will have to go like this: taboos about mental illness and what it means (firstly, that it’s not about being ‘weak’ or ‘strong’, it’s not a mind control thing) begin to break down in society; then people start to realise that seeking help is not a shameful thing to do (I think this is happening now more so than in the past) – when this ‘tipping point’ is reached and enough people start making enough noise about it, perhaps it will start to be given due attention and funding. Because it’s not a minority issue, it affects US ALL. We all need to chip away and keep up the pressure however we can, incrementally. Unfortunately this will not solve your BIL’s problems and it may not happen in his lifetime, which is terrible, but doing what little you can is far better than doing nothing at all, and as with so many things, from little things big things grow.
Love to you xx
That is just beautifully said. Thank you
When my beloved, wonderful, fabulous aunt had a psychotic break the only bed my father could get for her was on a maternity ward. This was with him pulling strings everywhere.
Three weeks later she was dead. The “system” failed her, failed her children, failed us every step of the way.
We did everything we could to help her and still I ask myself what could we have done to help her? How could we have prevented the loss of someone I loved and adored as much as my own mother.
I miss her everyday.
I understand Lana, I really do x
and thank you for all your support. xxxx My heart breaks for you and your family and all the pain that they have had to endure
I’m sending you an email. But this email breaks my heart and makes me so angry. Support services for those with a mental illness are so limited. There’s so little funding and if you’re the ill person, you have to have someone to advocate on your behalf, or you just won’t get the services. I have very little positive feedback to give about the mental health system.
Have you contacted the schizophrenia fellowship? They can often point you in the right direction.
Thank you – I am thinking of you and your friend too xxx
Brilliant pencil just brilliant, no one knows what to do and there is still so much shame and misunderstanding about mental illness – remember that you are doing the best you can x
Thank you Champ xxx
I am fortunate enough not to have a story of my own to share, but my deepest thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family, Lana. And yes, I’ve heard the “medication” is often as evil as the curse. It’s a tragedy. Keep staying strong. xxx
Thank you xxx
I am so sorry that this is happening to your BIL – I cannot imagine much more terrifying than this. I am also so so sorry that you and your family have to deal with this and that it is the family that is left to deal with it – It makes me so upset and so angry. I do not understand the mental health system at all. The entire time you are fighting to get in to the public mental health system they are constantly ask you if you can “go private” If I could, I would. And as you say, if you can they won’t treat what they consider “dangerous” disorders it seems…
Then once you are in the public system they rush you through as quickly as they can, constantly suggesting you “go private” and take up as little time of theirs as you can. I cannot imagine going through this and having no idea of what was going on at the same time – its hard enough feeling like this is your last hope and if you don’t get help you won’t survive but constantly being turned away.
I am so sorry that you, your BIL and your family are going through this – it is very wrong indeed.
Thank you so much for your comment. The system really does need to change
Oh gosh – this has hit home so fully. My sister’s partner had the same god-awful disease… to see what it did to him (a gentle soul who – in his right mind – would never hurt a living thing) what it did to her… what it did to our family, as his own family lived in denial and denied him the treatment he so patently needed.
We lived our lives waiting for a phone call telling us something terrible. And one day we got it. Thank God my sister was okay. But he was not. I still ache thinking about it – the ‘what if’s’.
Mental illness is a massive elephant in the room. And we need to face some really hard questions about how we deal with it as a society. Like: how do we handle it when a family won’t make a hard decision to force help onto a loved one?
I pray your BIL gets help soon. Real help. It IS possible… finding it is the challenge.
BB
Just want to clarify: I don’t think the issue I raised is what’s happened in your family. But it IS what happened in my BIL’s family – treatment was offered but only if they signed a form. And they didn’t. Different issue, same disasterous situation…
my heart breaks for you. I hope we do find the help. But having the support of people like you and all the commenters on my blog has certainly warmed our hearts
How sad it is, that you have to take your family’s personal pain and shape it into a stick to prod public awareness? I guess that’s always been the way of social change, but heart-breaking anyway. You write so beautifully about the immense cost, to your husband and his family, to all of you who care what happens to your BIL while faced with an inability to give what he needs.
It must come from the mental health system, yet it’s profoundly inadequate to the job. There are so many roaming the streets, falling through the cracks; their bodies whole and their minds broken. As a society we fail them in so many ways. We label them, we compartmentalise them, and then we mis-file them.
Hoping for a miracle for your BIL, and your family. xx
What a beautifully worded comment. Thank you xxxx
It’s so difficult (and everyone is so right, it shouldn’t be…) for the general population to cope with an illness that isnt really symptomatic. The sad thing with mental illness, also continues to be the social stigma of the situation. It is great that in small pockets of the community, mental health is discussed and accepted openly – but this is driven largely by individuals and some not for profit organizations…I don’t know what will happen with government support, it’s a big one that definately needs addressing…and I understand somewhat of the challenge of dealing with mental illness in your family – it means we just never ever really feel ‘relaxed’, always waiting for a phone call, or surprise visit….xxx
You definitely understand. I think that waiting sums it up. As my father-in-law said to me he dreads the phone ringing but he never switches off the phone just in case his son needs him
why are there so many stories like this?? My Mother (in-law) recently spent 6 weeks in a psych hospital. NEVER have i been in a more bleak place. And they expect people who have depression to get better there?? I hear your story, and so many similar stories, and hope something (anything) can be done!
Thank you Bec – I hope that your mother-in-law makes a complete and speedy recovery
For the time being I prefer to remain annonymous, as I am the mother of this young man whose soul is tortured.
He was the most popular of my three children, the most fun, even though he was the most non conforming. He had fabulous friends, a stunning girlfriend lived independantly both oversees and here.
My hopes and dream was for him to be just a happy, normal well adjusted adult,unfortuneately my dream has been shattered.
I once read no matter how hard it is for the family to have a mentally ill person, how much harder it is for the person who is mentally ill.
Sadly he is not sick enough to be hospitalised nor is he well enough to be out on the streets and therein lies the tragedy.
To the best of my knowledge there are no live in facilities available to him.
Each day my prayers begin ‘please do not let him land up in prison, protect him and keep him safe’ What more can I, his mother pray for?
I can’t begin to imagine how this affects your family, and my heart is breaking for how your son is being let down by the system.
Lana – thank you for posting this, and I hope that with all the links and RTs that it comes to the attention of someone who actually has some power to make a change in the day to day lives of those struggling with mental illness.
Thank you Tara. I hope so too
xxxxxxx
I am sorry to hear your story. I agree that the mental health services in this country do nowhere near enough. I have a bi-polar/schizophrenic niece whose illness was caused by substance abuse. She is only 17 and there are no facilities or services to really help her illness and there were no real services to help her addiction which led her to this place. What she has been through for someone her age eg assault, when in a bad mental state is absolutely disgusting: more NEEDS to be done for sufferers of mental illness. Family of those affected shouldn’t live in fear and yet that’s what we all do: we fear what seems to be a bad inevitable consequence of their illness eg my niece blacks out for days and doesn’t remember where she’s gone or what she’s done. During these periods we pray to god she is found safely. It shouldn’t be like this!! They are sick: they need help! Sorry for the rant..
My heart breaks for you. Thank you for sharing
It’s so awful to think that someone cannot get help in this day and age when they need it. One should merely have to ask for help-half the struggle. There needs to be more focus on mental health issues than there currently is… and correct diagnosis needs to be recognised as crucial. My bf was wrongly diagnosed as bipolar prior to us getting together and was put on medication that made him a zombie. It’s sad that when something is recognised the answer is to quieten it with drugs. Shame on the government, we definately have a long way to go!
Hang in there and I hope you find the help you need. Just make sure it’s the right help!
🙂
Thank you Megan – I hope your boyfriend has found the correct diagnosis. xx
I really hope that there’s some organisation in your part of the world that can assist your family, your brother-in-law, in finding a way to live with this terrible illness.
The world needs a better understanding of mental ailments and medical systems across the globe need better infrastructure to deal with them. This isn’t going to happen without people speaking out… so this blog post and your mother-in-law’s comment are some of the courageous first steps. You both have my sincerest respect.
With kindest regards and best wishes,
Miko
What a beautiful comment – thank you
Hello to you dear Mrs Pencil and your mum-in-law, fellow travellers.
I have a lovely brother called Alastair who also has (very severe)schizophrenia, he has three sisters and like us all is in his 40’s. He now has a guardianship order and lives in a safe place in Scotland :www.www.meallmorelodge.co.uk/more_info.asp?current_id=93
I’ve been here in Oz bringing up my four kids whilst he became a “ward of the state.” It has been a great blessing to him and to his family. He is in a safe place, he is looked after by kind, knowleadgable, loving people.
Alastair is no longer abusing himself with alcohol as he was when being “cared for in the community” and his mum and sisters are no longer scared for him and scared of him.
This has been a long and hard road for our family, (prison was not a good place for him and not my favourite place to visit), but how much worse for Alastair who is truly tormented by those voices in his head. Who wouldn’t lash out?
We hope Alastair can remain where he is, and I hope that your BIL may find a safe place to live, where he is looked after and therefore able to take his lace in the community, and in his family.
Seana xx
It is so wonderful to read about people like Alastair that find care and peace. Thank you for sharing
Hey,
This is maybe the second time I have visited your blog and I dont normally comment on many blogs but your situation has touched me from the moment I saw your tweet in my stream back in the last week of September. You spoke of the difficulty regarding your symptomatic brother in law and the necessity for him to be admitted. My heart breaks for you. Its seeing posts like these that I wonder why Im not back in the workforce trying to change things. Though as someone else noted its frustrating working within the field as what it is trying to access services. In saying that though we do not have to deal with the pain, emotion, helplessness 24-7 that the clients and their families do, our day does finish.
I dont have anything to offer as you have said it all so eloquently. I do pray and trust that something permanent can be done for him.
Being in a lecture with Prof Pat McGorry last year he stated the figures were in fact that mental illness was in the top 3 illnesses having impact upon our healthcare system and quality of life yet as it was not rated highly in mortality rates it was not given appropriate attention. As we are aware though ultimately there are dire outcomes and we shouldnt have to wait and get to this point. Action is needed in the moment not just in prevention (although an important component) If there is anything that I or even we as a twitter or blogging community can do to instigate momentum for change please let me know I am more than willing to commit and support. Take care
(My blog post to Julia Gillard is inspired by your brother in law, you and your family)
I am so flattered by your comment that I am not even sure how to respond. THANK YOU
Wow. So many of us with this story. I don’t talk about it on Twitter b/c it makse me too angry, but my brother has a severe mental illness too which is slowly killing him, but also killing my parents. He lives iwth them because there are no services/beds etc available for him elsewhere. They don’t really want him living with them- they have had to clean up his blood, shit, vomit too many times- they are tired and broken by it, but they have no choice. Otherwise he is on the streets. Five years ago (at 32) he had a brilliant, responsible job where he was responsible for hundreds of people’s lives every day…now he cannot look after himself.
Thank you for this post. How many more stories like yours, like mine are there out there??
Thank you Kylie – *sobs* (if I could be respectfully flippant for a second I would ask if your parents could take my BIL)
I just wanted to let you know that I read this and I think you are a wonderful person.
xxx
And you know that I think you are too xx
Hi Lana, it’s so important that you write about this outrageous situation in our health system. Like many of the people commenting, I also know friends and family in the same situation. I wonder if any systems around the world help people with Schizophrenia in more organised and compassionate ways. Sufferers seem to have no choice but to see-saw between the awful symptoms and its consequences (including arrest) and the unpleasant and numbing symptoms of the medication.
My heart goes out to your MIL and all the parents of children with the disease – so utterly gut-wrenching to see your beautiful child ravaged by the fallout from schizophrenia.
Just saying – but I wonder if lots of families affected by the disease wrote short heartfelt stories like yours and sent the volume to the Ministers for Health – would that make a difference? I’m sure many many people have written letters about the ridiculous lack of care and facilities for people with Schizophrenia and their families and I know there are support groups…but sometimes I wonder what it takes for policy-makers to develop enough empathy for families and sufferers to actually take action. It’s not good enough. (Getting back down off my soapbox now…)
I love your soapbox – get right back on it
Excellent idea!
Lana (and everyone else here) my heart breaks for you. I have no solution. ♥
But you have such a big heart – thank you
<3 and hugs to you all.
Thankyou for sharing. Let us know if there's anything we can do. I wish we could change this today for your BIL.
xxxx
Thank you xxxxx
Just finished reading this post and all the comments – I have tears running down my face – thank you for sharing such a painful personal story.
Your post has made me think – what can I do? I’m off to research….
The world needs more people like you
The truth of this one made me cry. I wish I had suggestions, but I have only the cynicism pessimism of Generation X which is no help. {{hugs}}
And you have empathy – so thank you very much
I got teary with your post. This is very sad.
why would they know that he’s not too sick to be in the hospital? Gosh! even if it’s mental illness(physically non-obvious obviouslt) they should know these things! damn Hospital!
Thank you Monica
You know I understand this. So many people in so much pain. How much longer can it be ignored?
Your comment and your tweet meant the world to me
I work in the emergency dept of a large Melbourne hospital (public). I am still shocked daily with the amount of people that come in requesting help with mental illness, the numbers are enormous. Some are seen by a doc and released a very small few are admitted to the psych ward. As in every state there are not enough beds. It is a terrible, terrible situation. We need to do more for all those with mental illness. And we need psych nurses! There are not enough, I imagine it would be a hard job.
Thanks Barb, Isn’t if just so awful that people have to go to an emergency department for care for an ongoing mental illness. And that so few beds can be allocated. Thank you for your comment
I used to be a community mental health worker and unfortunately this describes probably 80% of my clients who were diagnosed with schizophrenia. Most had been abandoned by family and friends and I did not blame them one bit – you know how difficult it is to remain engaged with someone who is so unwell.
The lack of long-term care for these people is a disgrace. Instead they are left to rot in public housing bedsits *if* they are lucky, and as you say the support from mental health workers cannot be forced on them if they won’t open the door (unless they are unwell enough to be forcibly hospitalised).
I wish I had the answers for you but know that I care. I wish I had been strong enough to stay in the field but it was just too heartbreaking. Unfortunately you have to be willing to accept the very limited assistance you can offer to cope with that kind of work and I just couldn’t. Bless those who can though.
Thank you Natalie, for understanding and for playing a role. Any time you spent in the field is a gift to all those who suffer so really – Thank you!
Dear Lana,
I could barely read your post through the fear I was feeling. It is almost primal, the fear I feel that this will happen to one of my children. Both my husband and I have family members with mental illness and I am terrified that I have set my kids up with dodgy genes from the start.
I know the feelings you are writing about and I wish I knew how to fix it for you. I don’t have an answer. I’m thinking of you and your family though, and you have done a beautiful thing in sharing your story.
K xx
I know that fear Kirsten. You have done a beautiful thing too – thank you for your comment. Your children are lucky to have you (dodgy genes or not)
My first emotion after reading this and whilst reading this was sadness. Deep, deep sadness….but then came ANGER….
WHY – WHY – WHY?! Do people have to suffer like this!? WHY isn’t SOMEONE doing SOMETHING?!
It is so so so so WRONG and you are right, if it was Cancer, or a broken leg or anything else physical it would be viewed BY MANY people so differently.
I volunteerd in the Mental Health ward at the Sydney Children’s Hospital until I moved overseas (now back in Aus but then had my baby so not back at SCH yet) and I have never met more beautiful, intelligent, and gifted people under one roof all together in my life. It was THE most inspirational job (paid or unpaid) that I have ever had….but I guess, as you say, they were the lucky ones who had a place to stay…..for a while anyway.
Thoughts to your family.
You are inspirational to do work like that. Really you are
Not trying to be humble (doesn’t come naturally!!) but *honestly* THEY are inspirational, not me.
What can I say? I am a pharmacist and have worked at coalface: St Vincents Hospital Psychiatric Unit and know only too well what it’s like. It’s the worst.
When my son was diagnosed with autism I was devastated, but still had the insight to think, at least it’s not schizophrenia.
My husband is a GP and looks after a large psychogeriatric hostel, run by the Uniting Church. Almost all the residents have schizophrenia. I’m not sure how these people came to get a place there, but they are safe & secure. One thing I was pleased to hear, is that as these people age, at least for many of them, the demons go away; they remain odd, but the voices abate. I dearly hope that happens for your brother-in-law.
Hi Lana,
I’m a mental health nurse, working primarily with people with schizophrenia in an inpatient unit. Everything you have said is so, so true. Monitoring someone with schizophrenia in the community is incredibly difficult & resources provided are totally inadequate. As a society we have abandoned these people & left overcrowded inpatient units to do what they can.
It might not give you any comfort but I can tell you that on every ward I have worked on we talked often about how much the families of these patients suffered, how their lives were disrupted and how they grieved for the life their loved one should have had. Schizophrenia is a dreadful, cruel illness, both for the person with the illness & for their families who travel with them through recoveries & relapses. I wish your brother-in-law & your family the very, very best.
In 1989 the government threw people out of institutions and onto the street. Unfortunately there aren’t many votes in mental health.
I worked for Anne Deveson as her personal assistant which opened my eyes to how many people are affected by schizophrenia in Australia. This was before email. She had boxes and boxes full of letters from people who wrote to her after reading her book ‘Tell Me I’m Here.’
http://www.penguin.com.au/products/9780140272574/tell-me-im-here
She also did a lot of work for ‘sane.’ http://www.sane.org
I feel very sad reading all these comments, we all seem to know someone, and it always seems to be hard.
On Twitter, @Epigrammist writes with personal insight into mental illness.
Take care,
Frances
I read Tell Me I’m Here many years before I even met my brother in law. Heartbreaking stuff…don’t you wish that all pollies had a “compulsary reading list”….
Lilyrose, please contact me, I know an excellent psychiatrist who can help you. DM me on Twitter if you can http://twitter.com/FrancieJones
Anyone else who needs a psychiatrist in Sydney to give accurate diagnoses and for trauma therapy, please ask.
Roselle Hospital has such lovely grounds, our “forefathers” were so thoughtful to think of the psychiatric patients to have such beautiful gardens, but it is now an art school.
Hi Benita,
Here are a few sites where Anne shares some of her experiences with Jonathan:
http://www.abc.net.au/tv/talkingheads/txt/s2547461.htm
http://www.australianbiography.gov.au/subjects/deveson
http://www.australianbiography.gov.au/subjects/deveson/videos/4
I feel there’s a lot of power in the people who’ve commented on this post. If anyone wants to organise a meeting in-person, I could ask Anne to come along.
I’d like every high school student to read two books:
Herman, J. L. (2001) Trauma and Recovery. Pandora, London. http://bit.ly/bK8AiL
and Dr John Gottman’s books about relationships. http://www.gottman.com
Frances
thank you Frances. xxxxx
My Brother in law also has schizophrenia. He is my age – 33 – and his days are a haze of confusion and frustration. Some days are better than others. In his own words, he feels “trapped”. He passes his time walking dogs for the local RSPCA, but be cannot hold down a paid job. And for the most part, is his family who get him through each day. Nobody wins here: his parents are at retiring age, but can never travel or go away from home, because there is nobody else closeby to look after him. And with no permanent resources for his illness – no around the clock MANAGEMENT of this condition – not just a bit of hospitalisation after he’s harmed himself or someone else, then send him on his merry way – his life seems…lost. I know somewhere inside him is a smart, sensitive, brave young man. It just seems a tragic shame that the failings of our health system render him (and so many others) voiceless.
Man, do I feel your pain. My husband isn’t schizophrenic, but he had a severe psychotic episode two years ago as a result of at-the-time-undiagnosed bipolar disorder. I am so, so, so grateful I was there to basically force him to get help. He wouldn’t have done it if left to his own devices, because he didn’t understand that he was sick until AFTER he’d been treated.
It’s very scary to think of how many people don’t have the kind of support system they need to get better, and that our society just leaves them to fend for themselves.
Thoughts and prayers to you, your brother-in-law, your husband, and your whole family. (I blog about marriage and mental illness, by the way. Would love it if you’d stop by sometime.)
Years ago, we lost a dear, hysterically theatrical, musically gifted friend (and the crush of my mid-teens) to this awful affliction. One day he decided that he refused to be a lifelong burden to his family. It was the shock of our youth.
My heart broke for him, for the family, for all of us. Our sadness and helplessness to prevent that situation will never leave anyone who knew him. But nor will the extraordinary memory of knowing him – just being in a room with him could be a total ride!
So I’ll ask too: What *can* we do to please stop this happening to someone else?
Your post was so touching Lana and I can’t believe what you and your family and your BIL must go through every day.
I haven’t had personal experience with schizophrenia but the issue of the mental health system problems are very close to me. I feel like I’ve lost years of my life to OCD (I’m 22 now). I tried a psychologist, it didn’t work, I tried medication, it didn’t work, I tried another psychologist which helped but she was too damn expensive. The best any doctor could do to help me is put me on a mental health plan which still doesn’t help me because I have to have the money to pay upfront before I get any back, which I often don’t. And once you stop going to the psychologist, that’s it, they must just have your file in the back of their pile and you never hear from them again. Recently I have felt so desperate about the situation I have wondered about my options if I feel I can’t fight anymore. Everyday my mind is plagued by thoughts that I can somehow control whether bad things happen to my loved ones or other people. And if I try to fight it then I feel like a horrible person for putting my loved ones at risk. If I give in, it perpetuates the OCD cycle and the thoughts become worse. I just wish we had the facilities where I knew I could go somewhere, get the help I need, get proper long-term monitoring for medication and not have to worry about the financial side.
Sorry about such a long post!
Thank you so much for raising awareness about this issue XX
Hi Lana,
I’ll keep this short as there’s not much I can say or add to what you’ve written. Except that I agree. I agree with every ounce that mental illness in this country is not treated as an illness. It’s an embarrassment.
You and your brother’s family sound remarkable and caring; imagine a world without people like yourselves. I’d hate to.
xxoo
Rick
My heart breaks for you and Mr. Pencil. Because I live so far away (in time and space) I can’t help seeing your BIL as I did in the 80’s. Funny, vibrant, and so bright.
One of my best memories of my trip to Australia (and I didn’t have many because I don’t like to see tourist sites, and you clearly didn’t have enough raw meat or chocolate for me) was the day Mr Pencil, your BIL and I went to the movies and watched 2 or 3 movies in a row . His old self surfaced for moments and I was so happy and so sad all at once.
I wish I could help.
Love
t
Hi Lana, I am in complete shock at what you have written, i had no idea. I have received a couple phone calls over the past 20 years or so from D and just dismissed them as randon”catch up calls”. I remember the days from the house and the pepsi mobile and how we used to live at each others houses. you guys were my 2nd family! My thoughts and prayers are with you all! I will email you
I keep coming back to this post and reading it. I finished a placement at a psychiatric unit 3 weeks ago. It was the MOST infurating clinical placement I’ve ever experienced. The patients were treated like shit and they were inpatient – in an environment that is supposed to allow healing. It makes me so mad that in Australia we can’t do better than this.
One of my first boyfriends developed schizophrenia a few years after we broke up. He’s 24 now. His mum – a former teacher – has resigned from her work to be his full time carer. He can barely do anything The medication he’s on causes him to drool and he has tardive diskenesthia – so strange posturing, moving feet, involutary movements, etc. He’s been taken to hospital by police, by ambulance, he’s been arrested and in handcuffs and sedated. And STILL, STILL he is never in hospital longer than a few weeks and he never gets the extent of help that he needs. His sister – one of my friends in highschool – isn’t religious, but she prays, just in case there is a God, before she goes into her parents house for fear her brother has acted on his delusions and harmed her family. Fear like that is NO WAY for a family to live.
I keep coming back to this post because it is incredibly powerful. It is raw, honest and it articulates what statistics and policy cannot. The 91 or so comments are a testament to that. People hear you. Lana, you are not alone. Your husband and his family are not alone. Your brother in law is not alone.
xx
I used to live that exact same nightmare he too lives. Oneday last october i stopped drinking and started taking a simple multivitamin with iron pill along with my meds. For years the meds did nothing but in october all my voices talking thoughts and delusions just stopped. First time in 20 years first time i took a multivitamin with iron.
The love of my life, dear friend and soul mate fell to this horrific disease a few years back. Without constant care, companionship, resilient patience and unflinching love this malady seems to progressively take more n more hold over the mind of our loved ones. There is no greater pain I can imagine in heatt, then watching a once beautiful, bright kind personality wither away into such a painful and sad, unrecognizable person; but whom which too often wont accept your help, fearing that you too are part of a plot
Please please please, try ‘holistic approaches to this malady. Cleanse, n flush the organs and glandular systems. Please read about Edgar Cayce’s remedy for multiple ‘types’ of schizophrenia. You can Google “Cayce on treating schizophrenia”. Someone wrote a book with his (Cayce’s) treatments, which can be easily found online. It doesn’t matter if you believe in hypnosis, or psychic phenomena etc. If someone you love is suffering from this haunting disease, you’ve got everything to gain from Cayce’s Holistic remedy. It ‘Dora’s work.
Oops, I meant to say “it ‘does’ work”, not it ‘Dora’s’ work”.And even if ur an Atheist, try praying; but with your ‘hearts’ “love” and your ‘minds’ “thoughts”, *together*. This is effective prayer. Send ‘loving intent’ towards ur loved one. And as much patience, love, kindness and open mindedness as u can bare. Thank you. Good luck, with your loved one, & with you.
PS. Would you, all whom read this please pray for my Karen? Just a 5 second
Im sorry oops, I meant to say “it ‘does’ work”, not it ‘Dora’s’ work”.And even if ur an Atheist, try praying; but with your ‘hearts’ “love” and your ‘minds’ “thoughts”, *together*. This is effective prayer. Send ‘loving intent’ towards ur loved one. And as much patience, love, kindness and open mindedness as u can bare. Thank you. Good luck, with your loved one, & with you.
PS. Would you, all whom read this please pray for my Karen? Just a 5 second
Thank you for sharing your experience- I have an older brother who has suffered from Schizophrenia for the past 8 years and it has had devastating effects on our family. I’m able to identify with your experience and my heart goes out to you and your family. I will pray for you all, as I know how emotionally devastating this illness can be on the individual (watching them whither away in a chronic state of turmoil and confusion) and the family caring for him.
My heart goes out to you all