I know that this may be a highly controversial post but I don’t believe it is my writing or my reasoning that will cause the controversy – I think it will be the assenting comments.
I doubt I am alone when I say I don’t enjoy cricket. Yup I said it and my Australian passport did not spontaneously combust. And my South African family have not disowned me.
- I hate that cricket and wicket rhyme. What other sport needs a rhyme to remind you what you need to do? Have you ever heard of a wennis, or a wootball? No ? I thought not.
- I hate that my husband will not look up from the TV for 5 days although to me it looks like he is just watching the grass grow. I only know that’s not what he’s doing because occasionally he swears out loud or claps jubilantly. I am quite sure new shoots of grass would not elicit that response
- I hate that my entire Saturday morning is spent watching the grass grow live! And yes I am watching the grass grow because, although I love to watch my son play sport, I do not understand the game very well. For instance yesterday morning I heard them all clapping and cheering his name. I looked up at the field and there was lot of backslapping and hoisting of Little Pencil. I thought it was because he is so sweet – but apparently it was because he took a wicket (not to be confused with a woccer which you don’t score at soccer)*
- I hate that as the chief of washing clothes in this house* I have to wash a white cricket uniform. Why on earth would they put boys who skid all over the grass while chasing a red ball, in a white pair of pants?
- I hate that I try to escape the cricket in the house only to be accosted by it on Twitter. And worse it is not just dull people wearing beige, cream, off white, ivory and white that are tweeting about the cricket – it is actual people in colour. That I like.
- I hate that I can’t listen to the radio that I like because I don’t have a digital radio and Richard Glover and James Valentine are regularly replaced by ridiculously boring cricket commentary on analogue radio. It is one thing to watch the grass grow – but to listen to it on the radio? That just makes absolutely no sense
- I really don’t like a game that does not clearly define who is winning and who is losing right from the beginning. I need to know this in order to have any sense of engagement with the game. Every time I ask my husband who is winning a match he looks at me as if I am a little slow. I think that is ridiculous considering he can usually only answer my question at the end of the day or sometimes even worse, , five days later
- I think that a game that has a “tea break” is just poncy
- It takes sooo long. No-one ever said “let’s play a quick game of cricket” with a straight face
- There are positions in the cricket game like “third man” and “silly mid off”. I think that speaks for itself
- I was once bitten by cricket. I loved Hansie Cronje, the late great South African cricketer. I stayed up all night watching him cheat while my husband went to sleep! It turns out that “the devil made him do it**. Or at least that is what he says. And maybe that explains it all
Well, erectile dysfunction is generally termed as impotence; this is a condition causing inability of a man to uphold an unrelenting erection, is facing complications to get erection & is under reliable stress drop in sexual concentration. levitra sale Treating the condition requires the doctor’s advice on the following ways: Boosts the immune system to work naturally against cancer cells Prevents cancer from spreading to other body parts Slows down the cancer growth Stops cancer from growing further Monoclonal antibodies, oncolytic virus cialis 5 mg therapies, cancer vaccines, and T-cell therapy are some of the common types of immunotherapy treatment. Hence, it is important to get enough sleep because sleep deprivation can also cialis buy uk affect the quality of erection. While, metabolism in the amount of emissions is generic levitra pills not reduced due to absorption of less but increased.
So do you love cricket? Do you even understand it? Will you explain it more patiently than my husband did?
*see first point
** the devil made Hansie cheat but it also made my husband go to sleep in the middle of a match
I am a bit scared to say this, but not only do I not like cricket, but I also loathe AFL and so does my husband. I suppose I am lucky we don’t have to watch either. Having said that, I also don’t enjoy watching shows about camping or “finding the best hot dog shop”, so while you are watching grass grow I am watching people putting up tents on said *grass.
*well, not the same grass or that would be bad for the pitch and it’s hard to bowl around a bunch of bearded men drinking whisky and cooking sausages
Funny girl! Love it.
I came from a cricketing household – my Dad and brothers have watched it religiously all my life. See, that’s a problem right there – I’m not really into anything that smacks of religion (except worshipping me, of course).
I’ve understand it in a general sense, though those silly mid-offs and other terminology are still Greek to me, but much as I love Nature, I can think of better ways to watch grass grow. Pass.
I don’t like cricket… oh, no, I love it!!
I’m a cricket lover, and a girl =) My Hubby & I love watching together. But I must admit, I do rather like having his (admittedly divided) attention for 5 days straight. I can get him to do all sorts of random tasks merely by placing them in front of him as he stares at the TV. This includes fixing things, bills, Medibank/centrelink forms, filing, even limited cleaning! I personally use the time for cutting up all the fruit for the homemade jam I was required to make as a newlywed. (No way I’m wasting 4 hours cutting up fruit without something to amuse me!) My mum, the source of my love of cricket, does ironing. I haven’t been that motivated to do the ironing yet.
I’ve written a girl’s guide to cricket if you’re interested http://stretchyprincess.blogspot.com/2010/11/girls-guide-to-cricket.html
Good luck with the summer, and I must say, I’m with you on the uniforms.
Love, Stretchy P. xx
Nope, and fearing the wrath of Ms Kylie Ladd who will probably disown me, I can’t stand it.
It may be because I was blackmailed into bowling to my brother for 3 consecutive summers when we were younger or the fact that I am a cricket widow each winter when my husband plays lazy bastards cricket (winter cricket because, you know, it’s too hot to stand around all day in Summer). Unsure or the exact reason, but I’d rather go ped egg the shit out of my feet than watch a minute of the Ashes on TV.
Yes, I’ll be getting my passport ready to leave the country shall I.
Riiiiight!
Yep, geddit!!
I know about the grass-growing thing – and the “people” who watch it have to bloody mow it – makes no sense to me AT ALL!
However, on a little teensy note of “not minding cricket”, I am an exceedingly good catcher at slips…in beach cricket, backyard cricket, and just anytime a ball comes at me (IN A GAME)
At 12 I was, ahem, FORCED by my CRUEL father to be the SCORER (not a term of ‘woo hoo, you scored) of my BROTHER’S under 10s team.
But, hey, if I had to do something, then at least I was ‘getting a tan’ for 3 hours on Saturdays- it was the 60s – and learning how to ‘score’ (no not that kind)
But later, when I did SCORE (yep, that kind) I was pretty darned pleased with myself because I could talk cricket, and score it…but as a teenager, just look pretty watching/clapping boyfriend.
Moving into the country for my first teaching appointment, sport (Summer and Winter) were the chances for a social life to commence. Met the now Hub who was (still is in his mind) a superb cricketer (an all rounder – make of that what you will) and was a District Rep. That’s a good thing.
Once I became a parent, no way was I sitting in that heat, watching grown men shout, call, run, whatever about a red ball hitting willow.
The ultimate turn off was when Hub told me he’d drunk “a dozen cans during a match’ Not soft drink. Not when I had married him.
So, onto latter years, and the CRICKET punctuated and spoiled every time of relaxation and holidays over Christmas, New Year, January etc because it is SOOOOOOOOOOOO SLOOOOOOW and everytime my hub left the room, someone would get out, and he’d ask me WHOOOOOO. I never knew, because I was very civilised and eating Christmas choccies, and reading Christmas books.
NOW, we have reached a wonderful joint cricket (and all other sports’) truce.
HEADPHONES…and I just twitter, and facebook and read on my Ipad.
PS – sorry for your loss, the naughty man cricketer. Cronje.
Cricket it awful. I can’t believe I never noticed the rhyming thing but surely that alone is reason to think it moronic?
Sitting around in the stinking sun is not for me. I don’t like cricketers. I do not like their wives and girlfriends. There is nothing to like about.
I am here to join the revolution!! Lead us, wise one!
I find cricket so boring I can’t even be bothered writing a comment.
Great post and I totally agree with all your sentiments. My father and brothers all played cricket and I wasted many a nice summer’s day being dragged along to watch them. The only good thing about cricket is that once it’s over it’s not long till the world comes into focus again and AFL begins. Now THAT’s a sport !! 😉
Cricket sucks !!!!!!!
Also, where can I buy a digital radio ?? I have wanted one but don’t know anything about them, can you please educate me 🙂
I LOVE IT TOO!!!! Great cheat notes by Stretchy Princess too!
I have fantastic memories of watching with my grandpa, from his knee when I was a little girl & then he took all the grandkids to the MCG in summer and we all love it. I think there’s nothing like being there (which is the same with most sports) but it’s a great game and fairly intricate too. Each of the games is different (1 dayers, tests & T20’s)and enjoyable for different reasons.
I’ve also married a cricket tragic and one of our nephews is in the Qld Bulls, so we’re even enjoying state cricket!
Get into it girls!
Cheers
Kellie xo
PS Where was this poll?
When I got my e-mail telling there was a new post I thought it was about the phone service Cricket . I was read to attack or agree . I don’t know a thing about the game . So you say they pay it on grass .
I don’t actually mind cricket on the telly. It’s less obnoxious than footy. True, it goes for a zillion times longer but I’d still rather cricket than footy, especially the completely ridiculousAmerican football that husband is watching on Fox over summer.
I grew up in a cricketing household and can remember sitting on the Hill at the SCG when there was grass! Until it all got too much and mum coughed up the extra for us to sit somewhere a bit nicer. These were the days of Lillee, Chappel, Walters, Walker and Marshy. And with some of the mo’s the current players are sporting it feels like we’d stepped back in time…….
“I don’t like cricket, I hate it” I was going to tweet these exact words a few days ago!!
Nope, I do not like it, not one little bit.
And nope, I don’t get it.
Just play a damn game that’s finished in around an hour with a clear winner if you want to play any stupid sport at all!
There, I said it. 🙂
I am sobbing. Sobbing. Is this any way to start a week? IS THIS ANY WAY TO START THE FINAL DAY OF THE FIRST TEST AND ONE WE SHOULD HAVE WON?
I love cricket. My next novel is set at a cricket club (ooops, damn, there goes half my readership). My husband plays (oh, how he plays). My son plays. My husband coaches. My husband watches. My husband umpires the juniors and is the treasurer and does the website and cooks the sausages after u/11 games. My husband ran Milo cricket for 2 years past the time our son had moved on to a higher level because he wanted to infect 6 year olds with his passion. My husband shifted our wedding date twice so it didn’t clash with cricket. My husband drove four hours during our honeymoon so he didn’t miss training.
I guess I got infected. My father played cricket too, so maybe it was latent, in the blood, like malaria, but I have to confess that what I really love about cricket is how much my husband loves it. It’s a great game to watch and a bloody brilliant one psychologically (an interesting five day test is like a unfolding novel)- but I mostly just love how he has anticipated this Ashes series all year, how much he looks forward to his own games, how happy he is coach our son’s team. I like passion I guess…. I love that cricket is for my husband what reading/words/writing is for me. I would never, ever want to change that. Having a passion gives us life.
awwwww *sniff sniff* xoxo
Oh now I feel like a total bitch for saying that about lazy bastard cricket. You and your way with words Kylie Ladd.
I totally get that. My Mike is the same. He lives for his cricket. Knows stats from the day he started watching. He loves the strategy in a test match and settling in for 5 days viewing. He always takes leave so he can watch at least 3 matches. I have grown up with it so have always known the rules, the players etc but never was “into” it, until Mike. His love of it has worn off on me and whilst I don’t watch every ball, I have a genuine interest in the game, especially the outcome – a winning Australia means a very happy Mike. Also, it allows me to go Boxing Day shopping without feeling guilty that I’m either dragging him along or leaving him home bored. It’s a win/win in our place.
Oh dear. Oh my. Oh Lordykins Lordy from Lordsville.
I love cricket. And I’m a gay. I think something went horribly wrong in my childhood. But I think I suffer more from Cricket Stockholm Syndrome.
My entire family used to watch it and I would know it was Summer because of the clap,clap,clap of the crowd on the sides of the oval fence during a bowler’s run up.
I learned to love it because of what it meant – summers of barbecues and picnics and swimming and holidays spent sitting in the air con to the soundtrack of the cricket.
Before a single game is played every summer I sigh to myself ‘God, the bloody cricket will start up soon’. And then it does and I am transfixed and my summer is blown away in a whirlwind of sixes and fours and occasial applause.
I really don’t know where it all went wrong.
I LOVE cricket. LOVE it.
I love watching it on TV, listening to it on the radio, and being there at a match.
Hubby is a cricket lover, and our son was born during the World Series so many of his first sounds post birth were cricket related.
I love the build up to a test match… the excitement of a one dayer and the thrill of the T20.
Part of my love stems from childhood memories of Summer and the sound of the cricket on the TV or the radio. Part infectious from Hubby, part because I’m a competitive person.
I will say that watching my son’s under 11 and now under 13 team play can be a bit dull… but I’m thrilled to be able to soak his whites for a good part of a week to make them ready for next weeks game.
I love going to a game… and seeing Ponting get a century on the opening day of the Boxing Day test a few years ago was amazing. AMAZING.
Cricket is a big yes for me. No Summer would be the same without it.
So relieved to read your post. I can’t stand cricket. I just don’t understand its appeal, but given my eldest son’s fondness for it I suspect I’ll soon be learning.
I love cricket. The best thing about this year is that I will not be in labour this year while I watch the boxing day test! Labour put a serious dent in my enjoyment of the test match in 2009, not to mention I missed half of it. Well almost all of it.
There is a reason to look forward to the end of the year and it is called boxing day morning. Ham roll, beer, couch and shhhh cricket’s on!
Can’t wait!
I love it and I’m not embarassed to say so. Give me 11 men rubbing a ball up and down their leg and I’m in.
Whatever your views on cricket are – mine are overwhelmingly positive – this is a damn funny post.
Hi There,
Congratulations on the great blog!
I just wanted to let you know too, we are an Australian independent book publisher and each week on our blog we have a competition to giveaway great picture books for children and YA fiction. Just visit our blog to enter. Maybe you’d like to spread the word!
I used to quite enjoy cricket. When they played it for three months of the year. But now it goes on and on and on and on and … sorry, got carried away.
i love love love cricket!
i cannot wait until my 2yo son is old enough to enjoy going to a match because i will be whisking him off to a match so quickly his head will spin.
i tried taking him to watch qld v the windies at allan border field last year but he was more interested in checking out the contents of other spectators lunch boxes.
Cricket bores me. Actually it annoys me. And I can’t stand the Australian cricket team. Not to mention the cricket followers. I’m sure if Julia Gillard heard me say these things she’d hand me to Sarah Palin for terrorism…
I looooooove cricket – that’s something I’ve denied for a long time now but unfortunately after last weekend the cat is out of the bag.
Last weekend, as the Guv sat on his arse for two days watching England kick the Aussies bums and I cleaned the house, having “quick breaks” to check the score which turned into hour long ones!
Sigh yes I’m a cricket tragic.
And I’m LOVING this ASHES series – you know with us [read: the English] doing so well and all!
Cricket is black n white, you either love it or you hate it!
Amen sister! I’d rather go to prison for 5 days than sit through that. I have 3 sons, all of whom will be gently guided away from the ‘sport’, possibly into a life of crime if necessary.
HAHAHAHA.. This is a funny reply.
I laughed at this because its so true. I didnt think anybody felt the same. I watched my fianceé play once. And I was bored to tears. And people did clap for no reason! Theres no excitement.OF course hes obsessed with it though, if hes not training or playing, hes training. It drives me insane. If I have as son, id rather he didnt play it. Around my area, the people who play it are also mostly poncy and all “bravo”. Im getting angry when writing this!
I hate it,,,, im force to coach this silly sport at primary school… cant I just mark books or teach… now I must coach this sport…. I HATE IT…