My husband sometime lovingly refers to me as “his grandfather’s axe”. The first couple of times that he did this I thought he was rather insane, perhaps a little delusional after all I I know I’m sharp but I always thought I was more pencil than axe.
But the thing is I wasn’t always a pencil and the story of the grandfather’s axe is quite beautiful
There was a man who inherited an axe from his father – he loved the axe dearly (as he had loved his father) and he looked after the axe lovingly and with care but time passed and the blade started to lose its keen edge and then little chinks appeared on the edge of the blade. So the man had the blade replaced and continued to cherish his father’s beautiful axe.
When this man died he left his prized axe to his son who cared for the axe just as carefully as his father had but the axe was old and the handle eventually broke, so the son replaced the handle and continued to cherish his father’s beautiful axe.
And when he died he passed on his grandfather’s axe to his son… but was it even the same axe? In essence no – no part of it was the grandfather’s “actual” axe but in spirit is was the very same axe his grandfather had loved.
So I am Mr Pencil’s axe – a rather different person to the one that I was when we married which is understandable really given that we have been married like forever. But I have really changed and I am lucky enough to see it and appreciate it.
The life I am living now is eons away from the lives I have led previously and I don’t say that in an esoteric, “I have been reincarnated” kind of way I mean simply that the day to day of my life is as completely different from how it was 20 years ago or even 2 years ago.
These lives that I refer to aren’t even the childhood versions of me – it is the adult me who has had her handle chopped off and her blade replaced. Not just once.
So I am taking this opportunity to write to my old life …just the one before this one
Causes: In the past, psychic causes levitra free have been exclusively held responsible for the failure to perform. When resorting to male impotence drugs, confer with your tadalafil 5mg india doctor as you may require dosage adjustment, since Penegra 100mg will not work and get you erections only by grabbing the pill. How to tadalafil super active increase penile strength is by consuming zinc rich foods and avoiding hand practice. Contact that company which is totally dedicated to provide quality driving tadalafil online australia lessons to its clients. Dear Old Life
I know that you come and read my blog from time to time and as I am not sure where else to find you hanging around these days, I though I’d write you a letter. As you do.
You see Old Life, I’ve been dying to tell you what’s been going on although I am sure you wont believe it. I also want you to know that it got better. A lot better. And aside from a few of the lessons that you taught me I don’t miss you a lot. In fact I don’t think that I miss you at all.
You know I work in the most amazing job don’t you? I get to be creative and I get to write and I work with the most awesome people Every. Single. Day. You remember that girl crush I had on Mia Freedman ? – ha, I get to see her every day and not only do I work with her, but I count her as a good friend. Bet you never thought that would happen. In fact I can see you screwing up your face in disbelief.
And I laugh at that. In fact I laugh a lot, just in general.
I remember sitting with you and trying to find the perfect job, writing lists of wishes and dreams and pros and cons. Chasing the very wrong people to try and find validation in work that would never fulfill me. That ultimately would not validate me. And I remember you telling me that I should stick with that job, that it was going to be the only one I could do.
You remember that commitment issue I had and how the thought of having to be somewhere every day would kill me? I laugh at that too. In fact until I had to tell you about it, I hadn’t given it any thought. I don’t sit at home so much anymore.
You know how you once tried to make me believe that what we had was as good as it got? That things were infinitely better than the other lives that came before you? You were right – they were way better then they were before, but not nearly as good as they are now.
And I couldn’t be happier