Anyone who has followed me on Twitter or Facebook or knows me in real life will know I’m a little obsessed with Offspring. And I am not alone. Along with millions of Australians each week I have sat down and cried, laughed and cheered with the Proudman family. Sometimes I have wished I were part of the family, often I have given thanks that I am not part of the family and most times I try remind myself that they aren’t even a family – they are actors playing a very funny and dysfunctional family.
But they are brilliant actors saying the lines of supremely talented writers and they have made us feel part of their lives. They have made their characters real and relatable and flawed and funny and loved. They have made their story our story.
So I, along with thousands of other Australians last night, sobbed when Patrick died. I literally heaved. Howled even. With my 12-year-old son sobbing next to me in my bed as we lay watching in my bed with Twitter as our backdrop.
Obviously we were crying because the main character had lost her partner which is sad enough. Given that she was about to have a baby made it even sadder and the fact that he had lost his first baby and was not going to live to see his second baby just tipped me over the edge. We cried with his sister and his partner who were left behind. We cried because of all the people his life had touched and how different their lives were going to be without him. We cried because a character on TV had died and we sobbed because of the devastation it was going to cause all the other characters. And while clearly on the outside we were crying for Patrick Reid you don’t need to have a doctorate in psychology to know that it’s much more than that.
The reason you become involved so heavily in a TV show is surely because some of the characters resonate with you, you relate to what you are seeing and you can empathise with the situations played out. When someone on TV dies you experience your own grief – not necessarily grief for the character. I think Michael Lucas, writer of last night’s episode said it best on Twitter when he wrote (a day before the episode screened)
For me, when I watch a well-realised fictional death, all the unresolved grief from real deaths I’ve experienced comes out.
I’d say that is true for many of the tears last night.
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And sometimes you just cry because you feel sad, you empathise strongly with the character, you feel like a human watching another human suffer (albeit a fictional character) and you cry for their hurt. Crying is healthy part of dealing with emotion. It’s okay to feel and acknowledge sadness, I have seen far greater damage done from repressing feelings than letting them show.
I’m not ashamed that I cried. I’m not embarrassed that I sobbed in front of my son over the death of a character on a TV show and I am proud of my son’s empathy that he cried too.
Did you watch last night? Did you cry?
and just to make you smile there’s this message from the Nyangan Police
Yes and Yes. Well said.
I haven’t really watched Offspring – one of the very few I suspect – but I did watch last night. Wish that I hadn’t. I cried for Nina and for her unborn baby and I cried for Kate the sister. I cried for the deep gut wrenching sadness of the situation. As I said, I wished that I hadn’t watched it cause I’m still sad today over a program that I didn’t follow. And now I’m morbidly curious about how she manages with the baby and without Patrick. I’m getting sucked in….. But like you Lana, I’m okay with having a good cry – I cry at happy things, sad things, brave things – all things. I don’t think any of us should be embarrassed xo
Thanks Jay xx
Yes and yes. Agree with Michael. Have just lost my sister and mother in quick succession in the last couple of months, and found it cathartic to shed a tear over a fictional character I’ve invested my Wednesday nights in.
I have heard from a lot of people on Twitter who have felt the same way – clearly, and throughout time, storytelling helps us deal with our own lives xx
It was devastating and horrific. I didn’t cry but I felt so shocked and quite anxious. For me it triggered fears of my close family members dying suddenly. I also felt so angry thinking how horrendous and unfair it was for Nina after all she’s been through.
That’s what I was thinking Elle – it really makes you think about your own life and that’s why you feel so much emotion xx
I must be one of the few Australian’s who watched Offspring last night and didn’t cry. I am not saying it didn’t move me – it did – and I had moist eyes at one point but I didn’t actually think the episode was very good. The scene where the doctor delivered the death news was utterly ridiculous, as was the organ donor scene. That was not realistic at all and I thought it could have been portrayed more accurately. But yes, it’s terribly sad and extra devastating when Nina is literally about to have their baby. Many pregnant women watching would have found it extra hard to watch. I do find it amazing the reaction people have had and the reach in the media. Even John Faine on 774 this morning had a segment on it. Amazing. Good news for Offspring fans is season 5 has ben commissioned. I hope you’ll still be able to tune in Lana. There’s quality writing and acting in this show.
I hope I will be able to watch because you’re right – there is real quality writing and acting! xx
Hmmm…..
We’ve had this discussion but this is for readers….
Yes, I get why people cry watching sad things on TV. I do it all the time. But last night on social media was such an outpouring of grief that it worried me. The lines between fact and fiction seemed to have got completely blurred. People were crying for Patrick and Nina like they were real people. Even Elle’s comment above is an example. Sure, shed tears in a sad show, laugh in a funny show, but understand that real grief is for real tragedy, not a script acted out by actors in front of TV cameras.
I don’t think people were crying for Patrick and Nina – they were crying because of the emotion that Patrick and Nina caused them to feel. Real grief is real grief it’s not ours to segment and decide when it is appropriate. xx
You know we will never agree on this one – but that’s okay xxxx
Part of our attachment to TV characters is because we see something of ourselves or something we aspire to be, within them; therefore it is perfectly understandable to connect emotions to the characters. People are smart enough to understand that the show is fiction, they just bring their own baggage to their viewing experience – thus the crying. Crying is healthy, using a TV show as your catalyst for a good cry is equally as healthy. Also, those gorgeous toilet paper ads with the Labrador puppies – great sniffle material!
I think you said what I wanted to say – only better 🙂
I admit to shedding one or two tears and a couple of subtle little tweets such as “You’re dead to me Offspring!!” and “GUTTED!” (I do love a bit of hyperbole) but I find a TV cry quite cathartic and I think social media just exaggerates the reaction. If Twitter was around during Molly’s death, my parents would’ve been over Twitter like a hot rash.
I have to admit I stopped watching Offspring this year, so missed the emotional ending… I just found that I had lost interest in the characters this year…
But nothing wrong with crying over fictional characters… I sobbed quite a bit during the final episode of LOST… I know a lot of people hated that final episode, but it punched me in the guts!
I watched. I cried. I feel sad that another quirky, offbeat show that I could rely on for a few laughs and an uplifting ending has bought into the idea that the only way to retain viewers or to write well is to kill off people or have wives cheating on husbands. There was no way for the actor to leave the series without annoying the viewers but I don’t believe it needed to be done in this way, with the baby due any second. Ultimately it achieved it’s goal, plenty of viewers tuned in last night and tongues are wagging. Whether they also managed to shoot themselves in the foot and kill the series remains to be seen. Remember when Maggie Doyle died … Nails in the coffin!
I have been really into Offspring this year. Loving it. I was in Bali for the last week and have found myself worrying about last night’s episode. I can understand your tears Lana. I almost crushed my phone while watching it. I was really upset and had a couple of tears. If my 15 year old son wasn’t in the room rolling his eyes at me I would have brought out the ugly cry for sure. I’ve been quite sad all day and can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t really know why it has had such an impact but that’s okay.
I cried and tweeted and I’m not ashamed to say so. We all want characters we love and empathise with to have their happily ever after so I think the outpouring of grief is as much for ourselves as for the characters. And although the romantic in me is NOT happy about it at all the writers obviously felt it was important to the continuing storyline. It’s a sign of how much the show and characters are loved that there has been such a huge conversation about it on social and mainstream media.
Yes! Every word.
No. I didn’t’ watch it and actually never have seen an episode. I know. But I do watch you watch it, on Twitter, and I do wonder if YOU are okay! Thinking if you!
Lol! Getting better with a bit of time under my belt 🙂
Wow, I must be one of the few people who have never watched Offspring. I was totally blown by all the comments on my Facebook feed this morning that related to the show. Not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I preferred playing my ukulele instead of watching the telly 🙂