Archives for October 2013

Enough reason to never buy your mother a birthday present again

October 31, 2013 by 4 Comments

birthday presentSometimes I write to help me unpack things, sometimes I write because there are literally no words but I have to add some… Today is one of those days.

I’m going to take you back a while to when I asked my mum what she wanted for her birthday. She thought about it very seriously for my mother is a very serious person. Finally, days later, she told me she wanted a pair of running shoes.

At this point there are a couple of things you should know

  1. My mother has never run in her entire life. She’s never even run late so averse is she to the idea of running. But, to be fair she walks a lot. Very slowly but a lot.
  2. My husband has some very er, strong connections to the world that is running shoes so perhaps she was just trying to make it easy for me…

My husband suggested she go to one of the retail stores with which he is connected, find the shoes she wants and get back to us with the model and size.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Funny Tagged With:

The biggest (and cutest) cry-baby ever

October 30, 2013 by 8 Comments

I am a crier. I cry when I am hurt physically or emotionally, I cry when other people hurt, I cry when I hear something that touches me deeply and sometimes I cry when I feel really happy.  In fact you will often see me with eye make up all the way down to my chin and foundation stains down my cheeks.  Attractive huh?

Before I saw this video I thought I was the textbook definition of cry-baby. But, this little shnookum has just stolen my crown. Watch her as she responds with Lana-like levels of emotions to her mother’s singing.

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Awwwwww

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With:

Growing up… and letting go

October 29, 2013 by 5 Comments

growing-up“This is what it feels like to have no kids” said my husband on the weekend as we strolled through the city after a leisurely breakfast at a place where there were no kids menus and no babycinos.

Little Pencil had been to a soccer match and a school fete, played a billion hours of x-box, stayed up past midnight watching the soccer at a sleepover. And then he’d been to another friend where’ he’d stayed for dinner. I am exhausted just typing that.

We’d been alone most of the weekend, looked at houses we toyed with the idea of buying, shopped for stuff for the house we actually live in, went out with friends, ate too much. Just the kind of thing we did before we had Little Pencil. Only difference was the conversation.
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Filed Under: Featured, Parenting Tagged With:

The worst part of the school year

October 25, 2013 by 9 Comments
school play

This is not my son’s play. In fact I believe there are no rabbits in our show this year

Is there a parent alive who is looking forward to the end of year school concert? If there is I don’t believe I have met them.

We have the “pleasure” of having our end of year concert early this year which is why I am feeling this pain a little earlier than usual. Added to the end of year concert delight we have the added bonus of a huge capital appeal fundraiser where we will not only try to catch a glimpse of our child singing out of key but we will also have the added pleasure of being asked to fork out a huge amount of money for this privilege.

It’s not the concert that I object to so much, and let me preface this whole outburst with the fact that I am an ex school teacher and I know how hard they work and I understand the need for practice, but it’s the HOURS and HOURS of rehearsal time that gets me.

At this point, as my son misses another day of school to practise lifting his hands in the air over his head for four hours, I am feeling a little over it. Not as much as him mind you, but still.

Can you imagine sitting through hours and hours of rehearsal where all you have to do is clap your hands over your head? Yes, you are right in assuming he does not have a lead role. I believe if you have an actual role in the play you have to move into the school to practice 24 hours a day. Or so it seems.

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So after spending about three months practicing lifting his hands in the air over his head I will go and watch him on Sunday night. I won’t be able to see him because all the kids will be wearing full school uniform and they look like sheep in their uniforms. Trust me, no one can discern one child from the other. If I do spot him I will spend about ten minutes deciding if I am close enough to video or if I should take photographs. If I take video I can be 100% assured no one will ever watch it, and that includes me even checking to see if it worked. If I take a photo it will live on my phone until the next time I drop it in the toilet by mistake. Don’t ask. By the time I have finished deliberating his part will be over and I won’t have seen it through any lens at all. Incidentally this will make no difference to either of our lives.

At the end of the play they will be asking for a donation. Now I LOVE my school and will happily donate to their capital appeal but I do think that I would be happier to donate more if he hadn’t missed so many classes to practice the hand lifting gig.*

By Monday when the play is over everything should return to normal. But it won’t because the kids may be so tired from hand lifting that they can miss half the day of school and start at 11:00. No wonder so many people go into acting!

Do you love or loathe the end of year concert?

* with no offence to people whose roles are more onerous than hand lifting.

Filed Under: Featured, Parenting Tagged With:

What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to give up?

October 22, 2013 by 17 Comments

There is a reason for my VERY SHORT TEMPER right now, my lack of patience, my urge to scream and possibly smack stuff.

It’s withdrawal – You know that hideously nasty feeling when you have to give up something that you love, something that makes your life seem sweeter, better, easier to handle?

It’s not cigarettes because I am a pro at giving up ciggies, I’ve done it so many times (and for those of you who are worried about my health, don’t worry the last time was very successful), it’s not even drugs (and for those of you who weren’t worrying about me before, I’ve done that one before) and *swigs on a carafe of chilled white wine* it isn’t alcohol. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Featured, My Life

There is only one reply I want to this post

October 18, 2013 by 18 Comments

I am as anti big supermarkets as the next person. Okay maybe more so. I never buy homebrand because I firmly believe that buying home brand erodes choice. More and more the big supermarket chains are replacing the products we love with products they love – ie their own version of the same products. To the people that tell me (and I bet that there are at least 10 people ramping up to tell me this in comments) that the products are the same quality and often at a lower price I KNOW! I know that the Coles shortbread biscuits are not made in a special Coles shortbread factory and that they taste the same, weigh the same and have the same ingredients as the Arnotts shortbreads.

But stay with me. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Affairs, Featured Tagged With:

A Miley Cyrus confession

October 11, 2013 by 3 Comments

Two confessions from me today

  1. I love A Capella
  2. I really like Miley Cyrus’ new song

So I love this from Jimmy Fallon, Miley Cyrus and The Roots

Watch it, I think you will love it too

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I especially love that we don’t see her tongue until right at the end (by which time I was beginning to get bored anyway)

In fact I love it as much as I loved this Sinead O’Connor/Miley mash up where you don’t see Miley’s tongue at all. And that’s a novelty these days

Miley Cyrus Vs Sinead O’Connor – Nothing Compares To Wrecking Ball (Robin Skouteris Mix) from Robin Skouteris on Vimeo.

Filed Under: Featured Tagged With:

32 fascinating things I learned while I was away

October 9, 2013 by 17 Comments

ethan vernazzoFreshly back from my big European adventure and musing on how much I learned this holiday like – well, like all of this

  1. A bicycle is a brilliant way to see a city. Beware related bum pain
  2. Tour guides are not credited nearly enough. They know a heap of stuff and are really good at sharing it
  3. A souvenir shop will always do well if my son and I are in town. If the souvenir shop sells little bowls or magnets they can be assured a sale.  I am a little bowl collector (which sounds weirder than it is) and Little Pencil has just this holiday developed a huge magnet collection
  4. Supermarket shelves look more exotic when all the items are in a foreign language. Even service station shops can be transformed into magical wonderlands with stocked with Italian produce
  5. They sell white Maltesers in Europe. We all know chocolate isn’t white and nobody wants a confectionary Malteser. Don’t be fooled
  6. We should be very grateful for street cleaners and the fact that our country still has the money to pay them. You will find that this is not the case in Italy
  7. If you live in Europe you almost have to smoke. The fact that I didn’t take up smoking again is testament to my strength (where strength is fear of a smoking related illness)
  8. Going away with a twelve-year-old is amazing.  My son is at the age where he is old enough to be interested in the culture and history (especially where weapons are involved) but young enough to make it more fun for us
  9. When people who have been on cruises tell you there is no better holiday please believe them.
  10. There is nothing better than coming home from a day of sightseeing and walking then to be greeted by a friendly face carrying a cold drink and a wet cloth for your face (see my point above about cruising)
  11. If you eat at a ships buffet every day you will get fat. Likewise for eating every time you see a pastry or ice cream. Trust me I speak from experience
  12. The whole world would be a better place if everyone treated each other like the Europeans treat their dogs.
  13. There is so much history in every European city it makes you feel quite humbled. It also makes you realise how little you know (unless you are my husband who knows so much he’s like a text book – but more interesting).
  14. War is a terrible thing. This is not something that I learned this trip but it really brought home how destructive it is when you come to learn how much history has been destroyed by war.
  15. Has anyone ever considered that maybe Gaudi was on acid?
  16. The word selfie autocorrects to selfish.
  17. If you don’t like people who walk slowly in front of you at shopping centers don’t go to tourist attractions.

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  18. Frozen yoghurt has taken over the whole world.
  19. European water is delicious.
  20. Trees are remarkable (also not something I have just learned). Have you ever stopped to think how much history the trees have seen (I mean the really old ones obviously not the ones that have just been planted). There are trees in places in Europe that have innumerable stories to tell – if only they could.
  21. Twelve year olds (and 45 year olds) will tire of continual sight seeing. It’s at this stage they physically need to swim. When swimming no longer works offer sleep.
  22. It is possible to put on a ridiculous amount of weight in a short time when you taste everything you see. It is also possible to bring home half of Europe as a layer (or three) of fat.*
  23. The first time you see a demonstration in Barcelona you could be forgiven for thinking you could be a part of history. The fourth time you see one (after three days) you realise the Spanish protest a lot. When you hear about what the financial crisis  has done to the people you quickly understand why.
  24. If you don’t like hawkers don’t go to Rome.
  25. Nothing compares to the smell of waking up to freshly baked croissants.
  26. People still sell postcards. I don’t know why because I am quite sure people don’t actually buy them
  27. The Italians will take a perfectly orderly queue and convert it into a shambles of people.
  28. The unemployment in European cities is palpable, in your face and tragic
  29. Balyage is a big thing in Europe. So are scrunchies. This does not bode well for people who believe that fashion travels to us from Europe.
  30. After around three visits, okay make that two, the inside of all catherdrals and churches look the same.
  31. There is nothing more seductive than airport shopping.
  32. I am an incredibly lucky, fortunate and spoiled human being

*Repetitive I know but I really ate a lot

What’s been the greatest lesson you have learned while traveling?

Filed Under: Featured, Travel Tagged With:

The biggest act of kindness from a stranger

October 1, 2013 by 11 Comments

randomkindness1I’ve decided not to bore you with my holiday too much because I fully intend to dine out on it for the rest of my life so there will be plenty of time for that in the future…

Instead I will tell you about my outstanding luck and a real random act of kindness.

I was sitting in a café outside the Barcelona Football Club stadium, bear with me – I am travelling with my 12-year old soccer addicted son, I had taken about a billion photos and was going through them with said son while waiting for my husband to return with some Spanish delicacies (hot chips).

We moved tables to escape the heat and carried on waiting for my husband who was taking, what seemed like all the time in the world, to return.

He did eventually return and as we started to eat his phone rang. My heart sank when I saw my father’s number. He hasn’t been well and I’ve only spoken to him once since his quadruple bypass (although I speak to my step-mother every day), he’s been very weak and not ready to talk to his daughters yet, it’s emotional stuff talking to your daughters after you’ve had major surgery and live in a different country to all your daughters, but he has called to say he’s doing okay and getting stronger.

A call in the middle of the day was unexpected and totally out of the blue. I felt sick. And petrified.

My husband passed me the phone and there was my dad. Sounding just like my dad – not sick at all.

“Have you lost your phone?” he asked me
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“Are you in an outside café in Barcelona?” he continued
“Um, yes” I replied with mounting fear. How did he know?
“A couple at the café found your phone and called me, they’ve got it and they are going to hand it in at the bar”.

Every single day of this holiday I have said to my husband “I can’t find my phone.” It’s become a running joke. I say it even when I am holding it.

I went to the bar quite trembly and embarrassed and asked if they had my phone. Nothing. Not just no idea where the phone was but no idea what I was talking about.

Eventually a man came up to us and asked if we had lost a phone and pointed us to a table where an angel sat with her husband. She had found my phone and assumed I was a child when she saw the cover – that was confirmed when she looked through my contacts and saw “daddy” as the most recently (and often) called number. I am not embarrassed, I do call him daddy and I have a very child-like phone cover (I prefer however to call it young and hip) She very kindly phoned my dad and put me back in contact with my phone – even though I was in Spain and my dad was in South Africa.

What an amazing act of kindness – not just to take the effort to call my dad and get my phone back to me – but to give me the opportunity to speak to my dad and hear that he really is getting better.

How’s that for an act of kindness? And as a bonus I haven’t lost my phone.

Filed Under: Featured, My Life