It’s been a long time since I last updated my blog and there’s a very good reason for that – I no longer know how to write because I can’t think.
I am in Vegas, I’ve just been to San Francisco and besides the fact that I have not yet adjusted to the time change (I am sure that will happen as soon as I step back on to Australian soil) my thinking brain been so tortured that it has decided to abandon me all together.
What’s happened is that all the thoughts I have been having conflict so completely with each other that I have just decided to switch off. Allow me to explain some of these thoughts so that you can see where I am coming from
- “I miss my son more than I ever thought possible and every fibre of my being wants to be in the same room, never mind country, as he is right now” conflicting with “How cool is it to be on holiday without a child and absolutely no responsibilities, this may be the most awesome holiday ever”
- “I cannot sleep if my dog is not curled up at my feet” conflicting with “Oh Lord, it’s so nice to be able to stretch out my legs and not worry about the dog at the bottom of the bed”
- “The poverty and homelessness in San Francisco is completely heartbreaking, there has to be something that can be done for these apparently mentally ill and drug addicted people with not a hope in the world” conflicting with “oooh look a huge Westfield with designer shops inside, I must see what they have for me to buy”
- “I cannot eat cheesecake for lunch” conflicting with “Just LOOK at that cheesecake, you will never see another cheesecake like that for as long as you live”
- “I do not need another drop more of makeup ever again in my life” conflicting with ”Let me just run inside this Sephora and see what it looks like from the inside” which quickly converts to “oooh this is new and I know it will definitely work, I better take two in case I can never get it again and I better take it in more than one colour just in case”
- “I cannot look at another slot machine” conflicting with “just one more chance on this machine, then this one, then this one, then this one, then this one….”
- “How can they build this ridiculous ode to money, alcohol, gambling and gaudiness in the middle of the desert?” conflicting with “This is the most amazing place I have ever seen in my whole life, I just want to take the whole thing in”
- “I am tired and I need to sleep” conflicting with “You’re in Vegas baby!”
- “Everyone is so friendly and willing to help, it’s such a pleasure” conflicted with “these people are not earning enough money they need the tips, I feel so terribly sad for them, I hope they have nice homes to go to”
- “There are people starving and here are literally thousands of people throwing their money away in casinos” conflicting with “I bloody love the thrill of gambling”
- “I should read the news, I have no idea what is going on in the world” conflicting with “It is so blissful to live in ignorance”
- “I must update my blog” conflicting with “it’s okay if you take a break for 10 days your audience (code for family) will forgive you”
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So there you have it – I am either having the most amazing time possible or I am fretting about the state of the world. Situation normal.
How are things going for you?
I know what you mean about the poverty in San Francisco. I found it astounding.
Have a wonderful holiday Lana and don’t worry, your family (me, at least 🙂 ) will still be here when you get back.
Aww thanks Tracey. xx
Haha that tips one IS a confliction. You know they’re just ensuring that you tip them, but it’s SUCH good service that maybe they’re onto something?
My husband says I am the only person in the world to worry about the home life of the waitress. But maybe they are onto something…. 😉
Keep gambling…but remember the “walk away I don’t care what the machine does” move. Stop thinking so much. Have fun.
I have stopped thinking – EXCEPT when it comes to the machine. Then I try out think it
Las Vegas…Ahhhh the sweet sound of “chi chi Ching”… (And that’s not the name of the lastest Asian culinary delight on the strip!)
I have come to believe that EVERY good conversation should have at least 2 opinions even if they belong to the same person- Lana, when did we get fussy?
Waiting for my squirt in the car, I get to see little pencil walking by himself to his Aunty’s house almost every day after school. I still turn my head back and forth up and down like someone in grave difficulty in the hope of seeing Henry bounding madly along the grassy pathway and the bleached blonde, honey colored haired, small woman smartly dressed in comfortable non animal harming items from head to toe with iPhone glued to her ear and arms waving………
I miss my friend!
I want to hug your comment I love it so much. But I will hug you when I get home instead xxx
So normal for my brain too. I hope you’re having all those thoughts at once. It’s a skill you know. Have fun xo
I am very skilled!! 😉 xxxx
I hear your conflicted-ness!
Isn’t it strange, we spend a fortune on overseas travel, yet spend much of the time missing home – kids, animals…our nice middle class bubble-world. 🙂
Too true Lee-Anne. I feel so lucky to have this chance to travel and see the world but it always makes me love home that little bit more xxx
Mmmm, Sephora. Heaven on a stick. Will be there in four weeks, cannot wait.
Lots of conflict going on there! I’ve been to Vegas twice and I will not return. By the end of the second trip I hated it. Hated seeing the dirty side of human beings, the poor, the poverty stricken, the desperate that fill that place built to entice them and then spit them out. Sure it is great to ‘see’ but I still to this day cannot shake those images from my mind. As with San Fran. A gorgeous place but so much poverty and people who have been forgotten and let down by the system (or lack thereof). I know it is the same many places in the world too.
But with all that aside. Enjoy your trip, you will be home soon enough to cuddle your boy and your doggy. 🙂
Poor thing! Perhaps on your last day you can gamble in Vegas whilst wearing lots of makeup; have lunch in a Westfield, order cheescake, and tip the waiter $100; sleep on the plane home and catch the news as you touch down. Then you can balance your yearnings with a return to home, hug from your boy and the dog at your feet. The ultimate ying and yang xx
Oh my goodness, my thoughts are like that every bloody day! And I DO forgive you 🙂