I’ve been forced to mainline Nutella

We recently bought a new house for which I am eternally grateful. It is a beautiful home and I can see myself playing with my grandchildren in the garden in billions of years time. That’s how long I plan to live there

We bought this stunning new house for a couple of reasons, one being that I was completely averse and almost criminally opposed to doing a renovation to existing house. I don’t like change, I don’t like mess and I don’t have even a smidge of patience. I also have perceptual problems meaning that I can’t read plans, I can’t imagine finished rooms and I don’t “read” drawings. To top it all I am so bad at math that I’ve developed a pathological hatred towards numbers so when people start talking about 2 metre walls or 1600cm spaces between neighbours I stick my hands over my ears and sing “nyah nyah nyah” (unless someone is watching then I just imagine doing it). I don’t get it.

But my husband? He loves numbers, he is a frustrated architect/engineer type and he can think of no better way to pass an evening than to sit with rulers, pencils and geometry sets in front of a computer loaded with software that should only be owned by builders and developers.  He can look at an empty field and visualise a finished house. He can read building plans like I read novels. I think he may be a freak.

The other thing that Mr Pencil is very good at is persuasion. So much so that we are now planning some pretty major renovations on the new house. I think they are major but given that I don’t understand “building” I cannot know for sure. I have seen a couple of emails from builders alluding to a “small job” but I know that knocking out all the walls on one side of the house and building a new bedroom and bathroom are not small jobs in normal speak. And that’s not talking about all the joinery we need done. DO NOT MENTION joinery near me. It’s unsafe.

So we’re going ahead with the renovation in the most ridiculous fashion ever, The person that understands, and can handle all the details, goes to work every day and I meet people at the house and allow them to speak builder to me while I sob quietly to myself

This morning I met a landscaper. This is what I heard

Yadda yadda yadda yadda soil bushes yadda yadda planter box, yadda yadd no I don’t think so, yadda yadda yadda yadda no your house is not in the tropics yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda will send you an invoice
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Then straight after that I met with an engineer. This is what I think he said

Yadda yadda yadda yadda steel beams yadda yadda cement wall, yadda yadda no I don’t think so, yadda yadda yadda yadda no you can’t do that yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda will send you a breakdown of costs.

Tomorrow I am meeting with a joiner. I assume that this is what he will say

Yadda yadda yadda yadda sliding doors yadda yadda polyurethane, yadda yadda no I don’t think so, yadda yadda yadda yadda no you can’t have that  yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda will send you a statement of costs.

This is going to be a fun couple of months.  Yadda Yadda Yadda

nutella

 

Comments

  1. Ugh – I would build a new house 20 times over than ever renovate an existing house. {sorry – I realise this is not helpful!}

    • This is the second house we are doing it too and I would rather do neither!

      Oh and Kelly, the worst part, which I possibly forgot to mention,, is that the new house is beautiful and it really doesn’t NEED anything done to it *sobs*

  2. I have a husband builder who loves numbers, plans, caluclations and the thrill of all of this. We renovate and sell many a house. Even so I hear much of what you hear. ‘Yadda yadda yadda! Good luck! I’m sure it will be all worth it. x

  3. As someone who can read plans, understand numbers and am not intimidated by tradespeople, I’d still rather move instead of renovate. Good luck!

  4. I need to know more about the Nutella. Also, on a totally unrelated topic, I need to go buy Nutella right now.

  5. Yeah… when we bought our house in 2012 the ONE thing we agreed on was that there were to be NO RENOVATIONS. It was a smart move.

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  1. […] day as Project Manager of the “big scary” renovation did not go well yesterday. It didnt’ go well at all and even though I constantly complained […]

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